Review of Purple Rain

Purple Rain (1984)
1/10
Comically Horrible!
15 November 2013
I was 4 years old when this movie premiered. Fast-forward 29 years, I've seen listed on the channel guide a bunch of times while channel surfing but was never interested in watching it. I love Prince's music (or Symbol or wherever he's choosing to call himself these days). I also love the 80's. I think it was the most awesome era with the most awesome music and fashion. OK now that I got my disclaimer out of the way I can say I thought this movie was terrible.

The thing is, they tried to make this movie into a serious biopic using a main cast that never took an acting class (save Clarence Williams III). Prince's performance was comical. I couldn't help but chuckle at his lack of screen presence and the feeble attempt he made to incite emotion from the viewers by staring blankly into the camera every chance he got. The only reaction he got from me was a few laughs.

There was one part of the movie where he jumped on his purple pony puff princess bike and drove around aimlessly then stopped near a lake and jumped onto a berm with his high heels then squatted down (I guess into the thinking man's pose) and gazed at the lake as if deep in thought. Bwahaha! I was thinking to myself he must have strained a few blood vessels in his brain trying to pull off that look.

Alas I had to switch the channel when the love making scene between him and Apollonia in the barn came on. As if the atrocious acting and man high heels were not enough now I have to suffer through a stiff, love making scene in a barn in the middle of the city. Yeah I'll pass.
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