Yes, yes, I know how you're feeling. I shuddered too, when I heard that 'oh so famous' line from this 1989 trash epic. Elves. That's what we're dealing with. Our evil and vicious antagonists are Elves! Not 'Critters', with their awesomely large grins, not 'Trolls' with their unique special effects, not even 'Gremlins' and they look like cuddly little munchkins half the time. No, no, we're dealing with something much more sinister and evil. Santa's little helpers...
So what's it all about then? Well, it centers around a teen called Kirsten. She's not a fan of Christmas. She hates it so much, she and her girlfriends decide to do some anti Christmas ritual at the beginning of the film. In doing so, Kirsten hurts her hand and starts bleeding all over the place. This is important, apparently her blood has the ability to awaken the Elf. Not 'Elves' by the way, there is no plural here. There is only one Elf, the title of this movie is a lie. But I'd still much rather watch Elves, then the Will Ferrell comedy.
Anyway, our second major protagonist, is good old Santa himself, played by Grizzly Adams. And his beard is only more awesome. It's impossible not to admire his beard. Damn, he could give MacReady a run for his money. I don't know what it is about guys who have beards, but they just seem more manly! More guys should wear more beards.
Pardon me I got side tracked, Haggerty plays an ex cop, turned Santa, who plays the father figure, the protector of our dear little Kirsten. And with such an epic beard like that, we know this is someone who is tough. Someone who is manly, someone who might be able to face the evil Elves... oh, I mean Elf.
Okay, so there is much more to the plot, but I'm gonna zip my lips. The whole fun of Elves, is discovering the drama and shenanigans all on your own. What I can tell you, is things get crazy quickly.
Still haven't convinced you to watch this movie yet? Well, lets see if I can change that. For a movie that's meant to be rated PG13, it has full frontal nudity, harsh language, crotch stabbings, attempted elf rape, and a horny Santa Claus.
All that said, this is some low budget B grade stuff. The acting is woeful (apart from Haggerty's), the plot makes no sense (because it doesn't), and the Elf is ridiculous. His mouth is forever open, you can almost picture it drooling.
This is one of those, 'so bad, it's wonderful' movies. Highly recommended for some high quality entertainment.
So what's it all about then? Well, it centers around a teen called Kirsten. She's not a fan of Christmas. She hates it so much, she and her girlfriends decide to do some anti Christmas ritual at the beginning of the film. In doing so, Kirsten hurts her hand and starts bleeding all over the place. This is important, apparently her blood has the ability to awaken the Elf. Not 'Elves' by the way, there is no plural here. There is only one Elf, the title of this movie is a lie. But I'd still much rather watch Elves, then the Will Ferrell comedy.
Anyway, our second major protagonist, is good old Santa himself, played by Grizzly Adams. And his beard is only more awesome. It's impossible not to admire his beard. Damn, he could give MacReady a run for his money. I don't know what it is about guys who have beards, but they just seem more manly! More guys should wear more beards.
Pardon me I got side tracked, Haggerty plays an ex cop, turned Santa, who plays the father figure, the protector of our dear little Kirsten. And with such an epic beard like that, we know this is someone who is tough. Someone who is manly, someone who might be able to face the evil Elves... oh, I mean Elf.
Okay, so there is much more to the plot, but I'm gonna zip my lips. The whole fun of Elves, is discovering the drama and shenanigans all on your own. What I can tell you, is things get crazy quickly.
Still haven't convinced you to watch this movie yet? Well, lets see if I can change that. For a movie that's meant to be rated PG13, it has full frontal nudity, harsh language, crotch stabbings, attempted elf rape, and a horny Santa Claus.
All that said, this is some low budget B grade stuff. The acting is woeful (apart from Haggerty's), the plot makes no sense (because it doesn't), and the Elf is ridiculous. His mouth is forever open, you can almost picture it drooling.
This is one of those, 'so bad, it's wonderful' movies. Highly recommended for some high quality entertainment.