Stalled (I) (2013)
1/10
More sexist than Michael Bay
21 October 2014
I got this film on DVD late at night thinking it would be a fun knock off of Shaun of the Dead. Even the cover suggests it. But it is not. It is a terrible movie from the first frame. Maybe when they shot it there wasn't enough light so they had to compensate during the editing, or maybe they were going for a contrastless, desaturated look but didn't know how to do it. I don't know. But it's just painful to look at.

I watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon the same day as this and I thought that was misogynistic. It is, but it's nothing compared to this. It's less than 5 mins into the film where two minor female characters in skimpy clothing are kissing each other for the very smallest of plot reasons. This film hates women and puts them into two boring tropes. 1. They are thin and shallow. 2. They are fat.

That said, don't get the impression that the male characters are well written. They are barely written. It feels like a film school script where sometimes A leads to B which leads to C in an unemotional, functional way and other times it just gets lost.

The screenwriter decided that he was the best person for the main role of this film. It's interesting to see him struggle to deliver lines that he wrote. I think putting the dialogue into a speech simulation program would lead to a better performance.

A terrible, terrible movie with nothing going for it. The comedy is slow and painful, the gore is boring, the plot is full of holes and is so shallow it's not even enough to fill the 75 minute run time. Do not watch. Not even on a bad film night.
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