CSI: Cyber (2015–2016)
2/10
The first episode is soooooooooo bad
5 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
There are people in this that I am glad to see on TV. I was a fan of Medium and Rosanna Arquette was a firecracker before that show, but there is a through-line with her from firecracker, through mom rolls to this.

James Van Der Beek has been impressive since he played a crazy version of himself on Don't Trust The B In 23. He was also good in Friends With Better lives and the lame Power/Ranger Bootleg. CSI Cybers shows a hint of the Beek being able to pull off action and when he is done with this show I would love to see him in action rolls as a detective or fighting aliens or something.

And it is great to see Peter MacNicol back on TV too. He was great on Numb3rs, Ally McBeal and Ghost Busters 2.

I am going to blame the writers, producers, editors and directors because no one is giving a good performance in this episode.

First, their opening case is a baby abduction. What kind of amber alert sentimental bull-crap story is that? It is like the annual obligatory kid episode on NCIS only worse.

Arquette is unconvincing in her stating that her unit is taking this case. It is a flimsy set-up and she was not able to connect with it.

Then at the crime scene, hacker #1 squabbles with hacker #2 over who has the most cooties or something equally lame.

Arquette never is convincing as any type of cop in this, she only ever comes across as a mom.

And the Beek is also given nothing to work with and comes across as hollow.

***Possible Spoilers*** There is a scene where the Beek jumps in water (in slow motion) and it feels almost John Woo or something, but they don't cut soon enough and it ends with a almost splashing-in-a-wading-pool bit.

***Possible Spoilers*** There are some people who get shot in this episode and they are unconvincing as dying people. That could be editing. Maybe don't let the second victim ask a stupid question about the first victim before he dies.

The episode is chock full of really bad decisions from the creators. The episode never gets anywhere near immersive because every minute or so something happens that pulls the viewer out of the story.

My hope is that this show gets cancelled so the original CSI can get another season. I never liked the show under Peterson, but it has been great since Ted Danson took over.

I give this 2 stars instead of 1 because Peter MacNicol was flawless with his five or less lines, and The Beek did eek out some charm no matter how badly the creators tried to kill it.
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