Lap Dance (2014)
3/10
Don't Bother
14 June 2015
This film is supposedly based on the true story of screenwriter/director Greg Carter and his girlfriend Junie Hoang as they struggled to earn money while trying to make their way to California to further their careers. Carter is Black and Hoang is Asian, yet Carter chose two Caucasian actors for the leads. Why? Did he think it would make the film more marketable? More palatable to White audiences? If so, he greatly miscalculated because the film tanked at the box office.

If Carter incorrectly portrays something as basic as the ethnicities of the protagonists, then the other events in this movie are probably fabricated as well. For example, he expects us to believe that his girlfriend worked as a stripper, hung out with rappers and drug dealers, was paid thousands of dollars for "companionship," yet remained completely faithful to him throughout most of her ordeal. I don't buy it.

There are several respectable actors in the movie, but they are all past their prime, and Carter doesn't use them to full advantage. Stacey Dash is only on screen for about 45 seconds, just a cameo role. Emmy Award-winning actress Lynn Whitfield appears sporadically, as does Academy Award nominee Mariel Hemingway. Blink and you'll miss porn star Ron Jeremy. Veteran character actor James Remar pretty much just lies in bed moaning and coughing.

Carmen Electra is 17 years older than the main character, too old to be cast as her rival and contemporary. Electra is also featured on the movie poster for this film, even though her role is a relatively minor one. Perhaps Carter thought that putting her on the poster instead of the unknown Ali Cobrin would make the film a bigger box office draw. Didn't work, and it's dishonest advertising.

Overall, this is a disappointing, lame, tepid movie. I suggest you skip it.
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