"Fantastic Four" (2015) is a dismal, abysmal, painfully-lame action movie based on the legendary comic book of the same name. What goes right in this picture? Almost nothing.
Our lead actor Miles Teller (Reed Richards) has the face of a turtle without its shell. And he wears glasses. This does not stop director Josh Trank from doing endless closeups of Miles' chubby, geeky, inexpressive face.
The entire pace of the film is off, with far too much time being spent on the origins of the Fantastic Four gaining their super-powers. By the time the characters actually go to fight crime there's twenty minutes left in the film, and the finale is a humiliating rush of action clichés so predictable that even the children in my theater had lost interest and were talking in their seats.
The entire second act of the story- in which the Four test out Reed's inter-dimensional transporter- is triggered by the team getting drunk one night and deciding that traveling to another dimension would be "really cool." Reed even calls his best friend & basically says, "Dude! You gotta get over here! This is freaking' awesome!" No explanation is given for the other dimension, for HOW the four gain their powers from traveling there, how the team gets back to their home dimension or how they magically arrive back on Earth at the end of the film. This is sloppy writing that slaps you in the face and laughs at the fact that you paid for your ticket.
A sub-plot about Reed escaping from the military facility at which the Four are being held goes nowhere, accomplishes nothing, and fails to further the story or characters in any way.
The cast shares ZERO chemistry, the "jokes" fall instantly flat, and the final scene of the film- where Reed suggests the group come up with a cool name for themselves- is awkward and sad:
THING: This place is fantastic.
REED: Wait a minute- say that again...
Yup. That's it, folks. That's how they got the name Fantastic Four. My face was red for everyone involved in making this hot manure sandwich. Bad music, dull actors, blank faces, dialogue by Mrs. Johnson's second-grade class, zero conflict, cheesy visuals, and no story.
Is that enough or are you actually still thinking about watching this movie?
GRADE: D-
Our lead actor Miles Teller (Reed Richards) has the face of a turtle without its shell. And he wears glasses. This does not stop director Josh Trank from doing endless closeups of Miles' chubby, geeky, inexpressive face.
The entire pace of the film is off, with far too much time being spent on the origins of the Fantastic Four gaining their super-powers. By the time the characters actually go to fight crime there's twenty minutes left in the film, and the finale is a humiliating rush of action clichés so predictable that even the children in my theater had lost interest and were talking in their seats.
The entire second act of the story- in which the Four test out Reed's inter-dimensional transporter- is triggered by the team getting drunk one night and deciding that traveling to another dimension would be "really cool." Reed even calls his best friend & basically says, "Dude! You gotta get over here! This is freaking' awesome!" No explanation is given for the other dimension, for HOW the four gain their powers from traveling there, how the team gets back to their home dimension or how they magically arrive back on Earth at the end of the film. This is sloppy writing that slaps you in the face and laughs at the fact that you paid for your ticket.
A sub-plot about Reed escaping from the military facility at which the Four are being held goes nowhere, accomplishes nothing, and fails to further the story or characters in any way.
The cast shares ZERO chemistry, the "jokes" fall instantly flat, and the final scene of the film- where Reed suggests the group come up with a cool name for themselves- is awkward and sad:
THING: This place is fantastic.
REED: Wait a minute- say that again...
Yup. That's it, folks. That's how they got the name Fantastic Four. My face was red for everyone involved in making this hot manure sandwich. Bad music, dull actors, blank faces, dialogue by Mrs. Johnson's second-grade class, zero conflict, cheesy visuals, and no story.
Is that enough or are you actually still thinking about watching this movie?
GRADE: D-