ironhorse_iv Review of Super Mario Bros.

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

You have to be high on mushrooms if you think this movie is good! Super Mario Bros is horrible.

[4/10 · 28 September 2015]

The first ever full-length, theatrical, live-action motion picture, based on a video game was game over, before it even began film production. Originally planned to be released in 1991, the movie was supposed be, a Disney animated film, but things change, when a number of hand drawn animation films, tank at the box office. Since, that medium was really expensive to produced, Cinergi Pictures, Hollywood Pictures and Allied Filmmakers chose to do, a family-friendly live action version, instead. What, they didn't plan was, the directors, and a team full of screenwriters to ignore, their request; choosing instead a more adult-like dystopia film, very similar to 1982 Blade Runner or 1981 Mad Max 2: the Road Warrior. This version of the film, inspired many of the big name actors to sign onto the project. However, the producers feared it wasn't kid-friendly enough, so they forced heavy re-writes and barred the directors from contributing to them. The script was being rewritten so many times during production that the actors stopped paying attention to these daily rewrites, and instead, frequently getting drunk to go through it, knowing that it would turn out bad. This trade-off made for a very loose-adapted film that had little to no connection to the games. Not only did, this anger the Nintendo fan-base, but it also cause the general audiences, not to bother seeing this badly made film. I know, that an attempt to make a coherent narrative movie out of a series of video games was not going to be an easy task. I also know, as the movie was being written, the Super Mario Bros. video game series didn't have much story or defined personalities for the characters outside of the various cartoon series or somewhat obscure comics, but come on!!! It shouldn't be, too hard, to make a story about two Italian plumbers killing turtles in the Mushroom Kingdom. After all, there were tons of good visual fantasy films, before this with less of a story. It shouldn't be, too hard to make this movie, somewhat appealing. Instead, the movie delivered, pretty ugly grit looking film. Directed by Rocky Morton & Annabel Jankel, the film tells the story of Mario Mario (Bob Hoskins) and his younger brother Luigi Mario (John Leguizamo). They are two Italian-American plumbers trying hard to earn a living in Brooklyn, NY. However, their lives are turned upside-down when Luigi's love-interest, Princess Daisy (Samantha Mathis) is kidnapped by the evil king Koopa (Dennis Hooper) and taken through a mysterious portal that lead to another dimension, where instead of apes, dinosaurs have evolve into humans. Can the Mario Brothers save the Princess or will Koopa get his way, and conquer not only the lizard world, but the human world, as well? Watch the movie to find out if you want to! Without spoiling the movie too much, I really have to say, that the movie really misused their artistic license, way too much. I really didn't like, any of the settlings or how any of the game characters, are portrayed. First off, what happen to the Mushroom Kingdom and Princess Toadstool? What is this Dinohattan BS!! How in the hell, did an asteroid create a different dimension by its impact and how did Dinosaurs turn into human-like creatures. It makes no sense. It's also really hard to believe that the asteroid that rendered the dinosaurs extinct hit New York City, when there is lot of evidence even in 1993, that suggests that the asteroid really struck what is now the Yucatan Peninsula. Also as much, as I love the Devo guns in this film; nobody devolved scientific right in this film. Humans weren't chimpanzees in the past. Goombas are not are seven-foot-tall reptilian humanoids with tiny heads. They are a species of sentient mushrooms. They should turn back into mushrooms, not dinosaurs! Also Big Bertha is a fish; how in the hell, did she turn into a spikey large black lady. I know that the computer-generated imagery and animatronic visual effects were still in their early primitive stage, but come on! At least, they could had done make up! Anthropomorphism creatures would make more sense, than just showing random normal human looking actor pretending to be creatures. The partial cheap animation, they used in the opening, was pretty awful. Not well-drawn. Maybe, I should be, glad they didn't do, the whole film in animation, after all. Unlike, other critics, I really didn't mind, the acting. Nearly everybody did alright, despite, not enjoying working on the film. Despite, for a large portion of the movie, Mario and Luigi trade color schemes, and the fact, that Luigi having no mustache. I still have mad props to both Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo because the movie harsh stunt works, pretty much nearly killed them. Bob Hoskins was stabbed four times, broke his fingers, electrocuted and nearly drowned. Leguizamo suffer a broken leg, during the car chase. The only actors, I can say, I hate from the film was Fiona Shaw's performance as Lena & Dana Kaminski as Daniella. Both were was really hammy and not needed. They should have used Wendy Koopa & Pauline from the games, instead. I doubt, it would save the movie. This movie Bob-omb at the box office. The film obviously left room for a sequel in the ending with the cliffhanger, but any plans for a sequel were all, but cancelled due to the bad reviews and sales for the movie. So, heads up on quite a few important plot threads being still left unresolved when watching. Overall: I really don't recommended watching this film. In my opinion, it's not that watchable, even when I was a kid in the 1990s. Really, I have no nostalgia feelings for it. It's pure crap. This movie deserves to go down the drain.