Star Wars: Battlefront (2015 Video Game)
1/10
Big stinky, crusty, aromatic pile of doggy doo-doo (since I can't say the expletive version)
21 November 2015
This game is an absolute atrocity, I can't play my copy for more than 10 minutes without getting bored and wanting to slice my larynx with powersaw - and I am writing this review in the time following one of those 10 minutes. The reason I haven't ticked the spoiler box is that there's literally nothing to spoil. No plot and the excuse for a single player campaign is 3 game modes utilizing variants of gameplay across the same 4 maps against AI control. The list of game modes reads like a joke someone would tell to parody this game's respect for the player at a stand-up gig: Battle on Tatooine, Hero Battle on Tatooine, Battle on Hoth, Hero Battle on Hoth, Survival on Hoth, Hero Survival on Hoth, Hero Battle Survival on Tattoine on Hoth, Hoth on Tatooine on Hero Battle. I am deadly serious in that regard.

Now, I am a hardcore Star Wars fan and have been since childhood as is my friend. I invited him over to play the game with me on launch day. I am not kidding you when I say that after about half an hour of playing various game modes, we turned to each other and said "wanna play Fallout?". That is how bad it is, the fact that a game that should have been the definitive Star Wars gaming experience managed to bore two shameless Star Wars geeks within 30 minutes and that playing a game that had already been out for a week and a half (and was far superior I might add) was the preferable option on frickin LAUNCH DAY!!! LAAAUUUUNCHHHH DAYYYYYY!!!

Now, you might be asking, surely it's fun to play as your favourite characters and occupy your favourite locations. Yeah it is for like the first 10 minutes. After the novelty wears off, your stuck with a pretty repetitive and mediocre 1st/3rd person shooter frankly. This is just a very lazy effort that seems to just be trying to get at least some money out of hyped up Star Wars fans before The Force Awakens gets every other consumer's money in December, and by "lazy", I mean that there is no point that the world of Star Wars came alive and sucked me in like the movies do. There are only 3 characters on each side that you can play as and they are not even voiced well, along with spouting truly stupid lines that bring to mind a hackey 3D Sonic game - "there's nothing like a good shield", oh, the thing's I do for that princess", "use their overconfidence against them" to name but a few.

Overall, this game has been a huge disappointment and I really feel ashamed for spending any amount of money on it. It's not complete by a long shot and is definitely not the great Star Wars experience that we were promised. And don't start saying "it's not complete because they want you to buy the dlc" and all that, I realise that, but that is not an excuse. THe player should feel satisfied and rewarded for buying the game and supporting the studio. And a word to anyone that doesn't feel like a Star Wars fan lest they buy Battlefront, do not let them make you feel like that. Star Wars is my life and in the end, I was ultimately let down by a mediocre and subpar shooter created by focus groups to cynically manipulate my love for the series. Please don't give money to these a**holes. Go buy Fallout 4 or Rise of the Tomb Raider or even Halo 5 (if you hadn't already). Give money to good studios that are at least making an effort to reward gamers for their purchase. This game is not worth your money, Star Wars fanboy or not.
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