2/10
Where did the $25 million budget go?
11 January 2016
It didn't get spent on the animation, which would have looked jerky and puppetish in the 1990s, featuring those nightmarish, lumpy, last-potato-in-the-sack faces that Le French consider to represent character.

It certainly didn't show through in the English script, which was about as pedestrian, plodding, basic and unimaginative as it's possible to be. Was that a deliberate protest by Le Writers? You can do better, much better, in the language of Shakespeare.

Editing? I doubt there was any: every frame of what passes for animation made it on screen.

Cast? Well, they spoke their lines comprehensibly, but every voice actor picked a single intonation and stuck with it resolutely through every scene. They may have literally phoned it in.

The music? It's the highlight, if the smug, repetitive nasal yowling that passes for French artistry is your thing.

Ah! Wait, there's a monkey! Who has an awful interpretation of an Afro-Caribbean voice, because of course that's where monkeys come from. It's definitely not casual French racism. No, sir, the thought never crossed my mind.

It's a underwhelming mess from start to finish. A six year old in the room was happy enough to howl along with the singing, but eight and nine year olds were past it, and it was unremitting torture for the adults.

Avoid if at all possible.
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