"Tough Guys Don't Dance" . . . a title like that speaks to the moviegoer: neo-noir, pot-boiler, and if we're lucky, a Mickey Spillane whodunit. Yeah, there's mystery here, I guess. A terrible one. But that's not the draw here. Internet fame being what it is, you come to this for the hilarious line delivery, awful accents and over-the-top direction. Even so, it's sorely underwhelming. The movie's exceedingly dull, and it didn't take long for me to want to slap dainty Ryan O'Neal around for a few hours. The only tough guy in the whole thing is Lawrence Tierney, and he gets maybe a few minutes' screen time. The macho runs very thin here.
Bottom line, it's not worth it. Here's what you do: look this movie up on YouTube. You'll find the infamous O'Neal line ("Oh, god! Oh, man!") and just stop there. Don't think there's more gold to be mined here. There's not. This isn't "Silent Night Deadly Night 2".
Better yet, look up the trailer. It's Norman Mailer reading the comment cards from the preview audience. Obviously staged, but as an ad campaign, that is nothing short of marvelous.
3/10
Bottom line, it's not worth it. Here's what you do: look this movie up on YouTube. You'll find the infamous O'Neal line ("Oh, god! Oh, man!") and just stop there. Don't think there's more gold to be mined here. There's not. This isn't "Silent Night Deadly Night 2".
Better yet, look up the trailer. It's Norman Mailer reading the comment cards from the preview audience. Obviously staged, but as an ad campaign, that is nothing short of marvelous.
3/10