1. A movie called Ninja Assassin shouldn't try so hard. The first scene shows such promise that this will be a fun, bloody, cheesy movie about Ninjas who cut people to pieces. Unfortunately, it instead comes off as a Kill Bill ripoff with characters we don't care even a little bit about.
2. Naomie Harris is cute but every time she's on screen the ninjas aren't. You can pretty much turn this movie on halfway through with the knowledge that she's got a hit out on her for investigating ninjas.
3. There's some cool fight scenes, but a lot of the time I found the effects cheap, like darting the camera around the room with whoosh sound effects.
4. All of the characters in the movie should be wearing T-Shirts that read "childhood love interest who will die" or "former comrade who is more loyal to the cause". Its obvious what everyone's role in the movie will be.
5. Some of the editing in fight scenes made me nauseous. It's like there were ten cameramen watching the fight and all of them were doing star jumps while the director cut between them every three seconds.
6. There's at least two shots that make you go "Oh, this was a 3D release wasn't it". You know the ones - the ones that they'd try to impress you with in like 2002.
7. The battle where the special forces arrive and gun down the ninjas en masse is unintentionally hilarious. When it happened in The Last Samurai, there was a sense of tragedy in it. Here it just comes across as funny as the stupid ninjas try to scurry over the roofs. Also, it detracts from the invincible reputation you've been trying to give them.
8. The screenplay is a turd because it hilariously tries to be a film. My favourite line of the screenplay goes along the lines of: "So will you be leaving Germany soon?" "Soon death takes us all."
9. Ninja abilities of super-healing are kinda brushed over and important to the story but at the same time not. Next time, go Bruce Willis-route and inflict lots of non-debilitating damage so at least we don't find ourselves asking "what happened to your intestines hanging out of your chest?"
10. Still better explained than Drive though.
2. Naomie Harris is cute but every time she's on screen the ninjas aren't. You can pretty much turn this movie on halfway through with the knowledge that she's got a hit out on her for investigating ninjas.
3. There's some cool fight scenes, but a lot of the time I found the effects cheap, like darting the camera around the room with whoosh sound effects.
4. All of the characters in the movie should be wearing T-Shirts that read "childhood love interest who will die" or "former comrade who is more loyal to the cause". Its obvious what everyone's role in the movie will be.
5. Some of the editing in fight scenes made me nauseous. It's like there were ten cameramen watching the fight and all of them were doing star jumps while the director cut between them every three seconds.
6. There's at least two shots that make you go "Oh, this was a 3D release wasn't it". You know the ones - the ones that they'd try to impress you with in like 2002.
7. The battle where the special forces arrive and gun down the ninjas en masse is unintentionally hilarious. When it happened in The Last Samurai, there was a sense of tragedy in it. Here it just comes across as funny as the stupid ninjas try to scurry over the roofs. Also, it detracts from the invincible reputation you've been trying to give them.
8. The screenplay is a turd because it hilariously tries to be a film. My favourite line of the screenplay goes along the lines of: "So will you be leaving Germany soon?" "Soon death takes us all."
9. Ninja abilities of super-healing are kinda brushed over and important to the story but at the same time not. Next time, go Bruce Willis-route and inflict lots of non-debilitating damage so at least we don't find ourselves asking "what happened to your intestines hanging out of your chest?"
10. Still better explained than Drive though.