5/10
Tacky, low budget monster movie
7 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Bert I. Gordon is one of the leading purveyors of quality "bad" entertainment and - other than his dodgy and unpredictable '80s offerings, which ranged from time travel stories to softcore pornography - you can always guarantee that you're going to get some laughable back-projected menace fighting mankind somewhere in all of his movies. EMPIRE OF THE ANTS is no exception, a middling '70s-style "nature revolts" shocker in which ants grow huge and menace mankind, not by radiation as the '50s would have it, but instead by toxic pollution. Quite why what looks like a barrel of mercury would cause ants to mutate is beyond me but hey, who's watching for the storyline anyway? The predictable, action-orientated narrative is merely an excuse to get a B-movie bunch of expendables trapped in an isolated location and picked off one by one by the menacing insects.

The cast is an amusing one, presided over by daytime TV queen Joan Collins in one of her last no-budget exploitation quickies before going on to better (or worse, in the trash fan's opinion) things. Collins is playing a greedy and ruthless developer with a cold heart, and her fate is always sealed. The rest of the party consist of a creepy would-be rapist who runs away after watching a friend die in need (no prizes for guessing what's in store for HIM), an elderly couple who take refuge in an outhouse (!) only to emerge and find the place literally swarming with mutant bug life - a hilarious moment here - a young couple with good looks and the grizzled, earring-sporting salty sea dog whose own boat explodes in a sudden and surprising display of pyrotechnical ineptitude.

The ants themselves are rather disappointing, especially considering that the same piece of stock footage is used over and over again for the poorly-done back projected scenes, which look even worse in colour than Bert's cheapie black-and-white movies of the '50s. The moments in close-up with the model heads are also cringe-worthy and a few splashes of blood here and there don't provide much of a gore content. The film quickly becomes predictable and inane, with our characters running from one situation to the next and doing so many stupid, clichéd things, like running off on their own to provide the next human snack, that the whole affair is best treated as a comedy rather than a would-be serious horror film. But perhaps Bert had his tongue in cheek all along? It's difficult to say, but as a so-bad-it's-good film viewing experience this takes some beating.

The film claims to be based on an original story by H. G. Wells. Having not read the original tale in question I can't say how closely it sticks to the story, but my obvious guess is that it doesn't, not by a long shot. In fact the only time it looks to break from the man-vs-nature fight/flight is during the silly climax, in which it transpires that the queen ant is attempting to control mankind with a laughable conspiracy-style angle to the proceedings. The low budget is always evident throughout, no matter how much Gordon will go to try and disguise it, yet the director's enthusiasm for his movie makes it enjoyable, if tacky, viewing - much like the rest of his offerings.
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