Hellbound (1994)
4/10
Chuck Norris cheapie is laughable rather than scary
26 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
If you've ever wanted to watch Chuck Norris kick a demon really, really hard then this film is for you. It's basically a clichéd thriller with Norris doing his usual routine, i.e. running about with a gun, looking cool, and beating up anything that moves. However, having run out of ideas for opponents to go up against the formidable Mr. Norris, they decided to have him fight a nasty demon instead. While I was watching the film I got an overwhelming sense of déjà vu and then I realised something - this film is a hell of a lot like Arnie's recent END OF DAYS. It's got the ageing cop, the comic relief partner, and an imprisoned evil entity wreaking havoc in modern society.

Sadly, though, while END OF DAYS had the budget to do its story justice, this film hasn't. Throughout it looks cheap and poorly-made, and it comes as no surprise that this film never got a theatrical release. A bit of originality would have gone a long way too, but no, it's some stupid story about the demon collecting bits of a broken shaft. I mean why was he collecting these anyway? I don't think it was ever explained. This film tries to combine two genres but fails on both accounts.

For an action film, there is little action. We get to see Norris take out a couple of opponents (in poorly-lit conditions, too) and that's about it. Most of this film is filled with talk, talk, and more talk, mainly of the comic banter variety. Okay, so this is passable, but I've just about had enough of the buddy/buddy routine! Amazingly, some scenes involving a young pickpocket are played for comic relief, with a jolly tune playing! Talk about being out of place...

Straight to video flicks are usually rubbish, but occasionally a nice little gory item may redeem itself. Not in this case. In one scene the demon rips an old guy's heart out and throws it around, but that's the sole bit of gore in the entire film. The acting is pretty bad too. Norris is his typical wooden self but Sheree Wilson, the love interest, is totally worthless. Calvin Levels, the comic sidekick, seems to have been added into the film only to supply some ugly racism. The only worthwhile person here is Christopher Neame, who has come a long way since his Dracula 1972 AD days. Neame just can't stop overacting, and he makes his demon role hilarious. He also sports some nifty shiny fingernails, some reptilian eyes, and a really, really deep voice. Neame is the best thing in this film, it's just a shame he isn't really given much to do.

Check out the ending where Norris and Levels have a big fight with Neame. Also unexplained are the cowled Satanists who lurk about in dark tombs. Occasionally we get to see their faces and it turns out they're ugly monsters - why? Where did they come from? The only thing I did like about this film, apart from Neame, was the over the top score which made the film feel grand and Biblical when it wasn't. As a so-bad-it's-good movie, this is quite watchable.
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