Miracle Reviews present: The Raven doing a John Landis spectacular.
:) please understand, this is a light-hearted rage intended to be darkly humorous - do not proceed if you are prone to being offended.
I have just spent an afternoon wading through the Special Edition DVD. At some stages, you can laugh, at others you can just cry. What hokey yuck, what utter drivel, what a miserable load of crap it is in so many places.
People, I understand Crazy. I speak Crazy. But if you have carte blanche to film Crazy surely you can come up with something that is a better kind of crazy than this?
For the most part, this is just stupid. The (un)funny fun funeral you could really have funneled back up a funny place, directors. Just a bunch of doddering old has-been comedians shuffling around padding their pensions. Ruins everything.
Yes, I was here for Monique Gabrielle (perfection, quite possibly the best-looking girl ever on film, proof provided here, can't argue with this bare fact, nobody can) and my darling from the Eighties, the actress I always cheered for, Rosanna Arquette. She was absolutely DreamsVille. Kelly Preston, a surprise appearance, I didn't even know! Young, gorgeous ingénue. Yet the focus falls on that awful funeral gag with all the old deadbeats?
The extras had nothing more of either Rosanna or Monique and just made me freaking mad. I am suffering as I sit here. An afternoon wasted on mostly junk. And I hear that over-eager weird Simmons dude singing one more time, I'm gonna tie a yellow ribbon in his oak tree, mark my bloody words! Would like to see him do the dance of love then.
But my score doesn't quite blow it out of the water. Why? Besides being a fan of Monique Gabrielle's naked charm, I am quite fond of some other scenes here:
The pharmacy "Titon" sketch was magnificent, with good performances, I felt for the poor young guy. And that condom mascot took the cake! The two I.D.'s bit, with Steve Guttenberg and knockout gorgeous Rosanna Arquette, an absolute standout. But that easily gets cancelled out as you stumble through the rest of this movie, especially the deleted scenes on the DVD. If the whole movie was of the quality of these two acts, with Monique Gabrielle's good turn thrown in for good measure, what a great thing it could have been.
But that irksome funeral thing with all that clutter was just too much and really nailed the coffin in the production.
Michelle Pfeiffer in the Mr. Potato Head segment is quite unbelievably hilarious, I mean, serious actress Michelle! A penny for her thoughts as she did this...
The main entry, the space movie, well, I know it's supposed to be silly and badly filmed and badly televised and all that, but everything just adds to an unsettling kind of view. For that bit to work, there is a whole lot of other weak stuff that should have been trimmed from this tree.
Great moment: looking through the microscope at the germs caused by reckless living, ravaging away at the body, and seeing cartoon mice dashing about rushing into their hidey-hole.
Lots of fun but too much of a sugar rush caused a glut of some seriously off-putting unnecessary stuff.
And as for most of the deleted scenes on the Special DVD, they should really have been erased.
And I have to sing this to Rosanna, I mean, I have to: All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes, Rosanna, yeah...
Brought to you by Miracle Reviews.
It's a miracle if it's a good review.
{as you can see, I learned one good funny trick from watching this, er, "movie" (???)}
:) please understand, this is a light-hearted rage intended to be darkly humorous - do not proceed if you are prone to being offended.
I have just spent an afternoon wading through the Special Edition DVD. At some stages, you can laugh, at others you can just cry. What hokey yuck, what utter drivel, what a miserable load of crap it is in so many places.
People, I understand Crazy. I speak Crazy. But if you have carte blanche to film Crazy surely you can come up with something that is a better kind of crazy than this?
For the most part, this is just stupid. The (un)funny fun funeral you could really have funneled back up a funny place, directors. Just a bunch of doddering old has-been comedians shuffling around padding their pensions. Ruins everything.
Yes, I was here for Monique Gabrielle (perfection, quite possibly the best-looking girl ever on film, proof provided here, can't argue with this bare fact, nobody can) and my darling from the Eighties, the actress I always cheered for, Rosanna Arquette. She was absolutely DreamsVille. Kelly Preston, a surprise appearance, I didn't even know! Young, gorgeous ingénue. Yet the focus falls on that awful funeral gag with all the old deadbeats?
The extras had nothing more of either Rosanna or Monique and just made me freaking mad. I am suffering as I sit here. An afternoon wasted on mostly junk. And I hear that over-eager weird Simmons dude singing one more time, I'm gonna tie a yellow ribbon in his oak tree, mark my bloody words! Would like to see him do the dance of love then.
But my score doesn't quite blow it out of the water. Why? Besides being a fan of Monique Gabrielle's naked charm, I am quite fond of some other scenes here:
The pharmacy "Titon" sketch was magnificent, with good performances, I felt for the poor young guy. And that condom mascot took the cake! The two I.D.'s bit, with Steve Guttenberg and knockout gorgeous Rosanna Arquette, an absolute standout. But that easily gets cancelled out as you stumble through the rest of this movie, especially the deleted scenes on the DVD. If the whole movie was of the quality of these two acts, with Monique Gabrielle's good turn thrown in for good measure, what a great thing it could have been.
But that irksome funeral thing with all that clutter was just too much and really nailed the coffin in the production.
Michelle Pfeiffer in the Mr. Potato Head segment is quite unbelievably hilarious, I mean, serious actress Michelle! A penny for her thoughts as she did this...
The main entry, the space movie, well, I know it's supposed to be silly and badly filmed and badly televised and all that, but everything just adds to an unsettling kind of view. For that bit to work, there is a whole lot of other weak stuff that should have been trimmed from this tree.
Great moment: looking through the microscope at the germs caused by reckless living, ravaging away at the body, and seeing cartoon mice dashing about rushing into their hidey-hole.
Lots of fun but too much of a sugar rush caused a glut of some seriously off-putting unnecessary stuff.
And as for most of the deleted scenes on the Special DVD, they should really have been erased.
And I have to sing this to Rosanna, I mean, I have to: All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes, Rosanna, yeah...
Brought to you by Miracle Reviews.
It's a miracle if it's a good review.
{as you can see, I learned one good funny trick from watching this, er, "movie" (???)}