3/10
The makers of this mess deserve to do time for crimes against horror.
14 January 2018
San Franciscan teen Alex Gardner (Nicholas Celozzi) suffers from recurring dreams in which he is menaced by a demon in an abandoned prison. He consults Carolyn Harding, an expert in such matters, who believes that the dreams are calling him to Alcatraz. Together with Carolyn, his brother Richard (Tom Reilly) and a group of friends, Alex visits the infamous island where he encounters the spirit of dead rocker Sammy Mitchell (Toni Basil), who helps him to defeat the evil spirit of a cannibalistic commandant.

Slaughterhouse Rock is one of those incoherent '80s horror movies that feels like it was made up on the fly. Trashy schlock with a surfeit of mullets, neon lighting and bad synth music, the film makes very little sense, and tries to compensate with gratuitous nudity and gore. It's such a hot mess that, very occasionally, it succeeds in entertaining, but for the most part it proves to be a muddled, aimless, and rather tedious crapfest, the most horrific aspect being Toni Basil's garish outfits.

Nudity: Hope Marie Carlton, as Richard's girlfriend Krista, flashes her ta-tas several times and strips to her scanties.

Goriest moments: Alex dreams that he has his hand cut off and has his chest ripped open. One of the friends is punched through his head. Krista has her neck chewed open.

Silliest moment: Toni Basil doing a ridiculous dance during a montage of previous scenes.
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