Tomb Raider (2018)
1/10
Tomb Raider & Friends
1 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Clearly the Angelina Jolie movies inspired this film more than the new video game series did, leaving the writers lost in some kind of gray area. Also lost in this purgatory between the two, is Alicia Vikander, who trained way too hard for this movie to try too little.

This thing is a goner after the MMA match opener that the crew seemingly spent all of their time and attention on, soon followed by Lara Croft playing capture the flag on a bicycle with a paint bucket. Then we're treated to a boy her age unable to ask her out on a date (which seems built up to pay off at the end but never does)? I guess this was all from the part of the script they forgot to delete.

Tomb Raider (the new video game series) starts off simply. She's on a ship to an unknown island she seeks to explore. It capsizes and she's thrust into this world of danger and intrigue on the island she was destined to. The plot fills itself in organically via a series of flashbacks and other interactions by the characters shipwrecked with her, as she progresses onward.

This movie throws away all of that beauty and simplicity by over complicating her background which could easily be explained over the course of the movie. She doesn't even make it to the island until maybe 40 minutes in. We're beat over the head with her father's simple first draft exposition (and that never ends until he's dead towards the end of the movie).

The pros are the very few and far in between action scenes of Lara surviving the onslaught of the environment and antagonists at hand. Not to mention how well Alicia Vikander and Walton Goggins do with this turd.

If you like video games and have a PS4 or an Xbox One, skip this movie altogether and pick up some copies of Tomb Raider (2013) and Rise of the Tomb Raider (2015).
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