If you like hipster indie music. You know, cliche person in smurf beanie, drinking the vegan soy late, lumberjack shift, this is for you. Fixed wheel bikes and typewriters. I'm dribbling on aren't I. That's because the film hurt to watch. It is 24 hours later and I am still full or rage, anger, hate even.
I hated them all. One dimensional characters, atrocious script writing, terrible acting. Let's put lead character in cliche fringe, overly bright red lipstick, cutie dresses and cardigans, Lots of cardigans. And show her sitting down and looking up at the sky tilting her head, pursing her lips. Hands under bottom, shrug shoulders in. Oh god cliche. Or standing up and doing the same thing. And looking out the window and doing the same thing. Actually No, the Romanian who topped himself, him I liked. But he was just a plot device for us to feel sorry for her. Her husband was a one dimensional creep. The neighbor a cliche funky guy with a cliche angry wife. The dinner scene physically hurt to watch.
I watched this because after seeing that the good premise would not be delivered I wanted to know how bad they could make it up until the go to Mars thing. Because that was obviously what the film was about right, her choosing to find the freedom and come out of her cocoon and go to Mars.
But no. The film was like a bad case of what constipation is supposed to be. I imagine just sitting there for 90 minutes with a stomach ache and nothing moves. And everything ached watching this tripe. My eye ached seeing her in another cardigan, or popping her head over the fence with her stupid innocent me smile. My ears hurt listening to that music. Did they get that for $5 on Fiverr? If so they paid too much. It hurt, physically hurt, my ears are still bleeding a day later. If people like listening to whistle/ flute/ ukelele/ drum music from car insurance and Apple adverts good for them, but 80 minutes of it? My brain hurt watching it. And my heart hurts seeing that they don't even have 5 friends prepared to write a fake nice review for them.
And that should be your guide
I'm guessing whoever wrote and directed this is a 28 year old girl who has never left home, grew up reading Bronte, Woolf and Proust, doesn't drive, uses public transport and puts her bag on her lap and looks out the window just like this actress. The film is bad. It is boring. It is pathetic. It is not worth watching unless you are a unique hipster girl who can identify with the look or a guy who has not consumed enough soy and have a lot of self loathing.
This film was not made for you or me. It was a "look at me" vehicle to showcase to peers in the industry and get a leg up that way.
Don't waste your time.
Review of Seat 25
