AskaP Review of Tell Me Who I Am

Tell Me Who I Am (2019)

Heartbreaking and fascinating story. But not great documentary

[5/10 · 9 August 2020]

The story is fascinating. Both - just losing memory by Alex, and that his brother basically gave him all the memories, builded his past for him. And then - the fact that he actually removed all those bad things from the memories and created the good life, even if the reality was so different. It's fascinating on so many different levels. Yet the movie does not explore any of those. It just touches on a surface, without really going deeper into what it meant, for both of them. And then - when you have already learned that abuse happened in their childhood and that Marcus have covered it all up, feeling it will be better for Alex to never know - then you learn that until this day, the day of filming, Alex didn't have a chance to learn what this abuse actually meant. His brother gave him only one line: yes, mother abused us sexually- and that's it. Ok, so will we hear more now? And how the story goes now, it actually turns me into some sort of vulture. I am now waiting to hear all the details. They put the brothers together in front of the camera to finally talk. I feel weird. Will they share it now? In the 15 mins that's left? How? If this was so deep and bad, where is the space for the movie to walk me through those awful events, walk the brothers through this intense conversation, and still have time to shake those emotions away after? And then I am sort of relieved: oh, it seems that they prerecorded this testimony and only Alex will hear it, will watch it on his laptop and I will not actually witness it. Ok. But then - no. They actually show me Marcuses testimony. I am not sure if I should be listening. Ok, let's get ready, it will be heartbreaking, for him, and for me... And then - two sentences. And we are done. It's awfully short. But not because the director actually decided to respect their privacy. No, he already have exploited the scandalous story, and hey, 5 mins left till the movie has to end. Then the brothers hug. I very much see how the one who knew the truth all these years - was actually relieved that he finally told his brother everything. I see it. I am not sure if the director sees it. He doesn't give him time. Doesn't give me time. And the main character of this story - Alex, who has now learned that whole awful story - is left to the short "ok, ok, I needed it, ok, bye", movie ends. I felt like they were both exploited to share something so private, awful and scary that they couldn't share with each other for 30 years - and it was made to look almost trivial. There is so much in their story to explore. So many layers and levels. Yet the filmmaker had no idea what he really had. Seems like he cared about this "sex scandal to be revealed", without seeing people he was supposed to portray here.