2/10
Nosfera2/10
16 May 2021
Klaus Kinski plays Nosferatu, an ancient vampire who is summoned during a seance, awakened from his centuries old slumber to feed upon a band of gypsies, and Helietta (Barbara De Rossi), daughter of an influential Venetian matriarch. Christopher Plummer plays Professor Paris Catalano, an expert on vampirism who is hunting Nosferatu, and horror legend Donald Pleasence is utterly wasted in the pointless role of a priest. The professor eventually tracks the bloodsucker and his victims to a 'plague cemetery on Dog Island' (great name for a prog metal album!) where he confronts the monster.

Vampire in Venice is slower and more aimless than a gondolier who's knocked back a few too many Bellinis during his lunch break. Klaus Kinksi dons rat-like fangs again for this sequel-of-sorts to Werner Herzog's 1979 Nosferatu remake, but being the uncontrollable type, the actor refused to appear in full vampire make-up this time, instead opting for hair extensions that make him look like a member of The Lost Boys who actually grew up. Halfway through the film, it seems as though Kinksi decided not to wear the fangs either. It's that kind of film: a shambolic mess, not helped by the fact that it passed through the hands of several directors, including Italian trash legend Luigi Cozzi. The result is a boring, drab (Venice is shot in a washed out palette of monotonous greys and blues), incomprehensible piece of garbage that takes itself way too seriously: it makes Herzog's film look like a barrel of laughs in comparison.

1.5/10, generously rounded up to 2 for the gaping gun-shot hole in Nosferatu's stomach, the old lady impaled on the railings, and the hot, stark-naked gypsy girl who lucky old Kinski gets to romp with.
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