I had a unique experience watching this film, as I've had the opportunity to meet and spend time with Eli and the Timoners during his final years. Eli was everything portrayed; a kind, wise, witty man who kept his sense of humor to the end. I did not know him prior to his accident, but had heard many stories of his greatness and loving heart, through the best and worst of times, which this film captured with perfection.
I had not experienced or witnessed this type of supportive family where I come from, it's more of an anomaly. I had the pleasure to work with Ondi on her film, Mapplethorpe, where we became close friends. The Timoners embraced me from the start, making me feel welcome and providing me a much-needed respite; a safe and comfortable place to join in some of their celebrations, allowing me a window to a new world of positivity and kindness. My previous life experiences, for the most part, demonstrated codependent trauma-bonding, conflict, divorce and people inflicting pain and sadness on each other. I've always been blessed to be "adopted by" or "welcomed into" open-minded families, such as the Timoners, who allow themselves to experience joy and had values more consistent with my own, where I could receive validation and witness, what I believed to be, a bit of sanity.
The pandemic prevented me from traveling to LA when I received news that Eli had decided to end his life so I attended the funeral over zoom. It was extremely difficult for me to watch the funeral alone from 3000 miles away so I knew the film would be equally painful. I decided to invite my friend, Nena Thurman (formerly Nena von Schlebrugge -wife of Robert Thurman and mother of Uma) to watch the Sundance premier with me. I had filmed a project in her home over 2 decades ago and she had become another parental figure and rock for me at crucial times; bestowing invaluable information on me when I became severely ill from toxic mold exposure at work. With our current medical system still in the dark ages, I attribute my current state of health to Nena introducing me to literature and a protocol that saved my life. I believed she would appreciate this film, because, much like Eli, she has lived an exhilarating life of work, travel and accomplishments, while also falling victim to painful and paralyzing health complications, which kept her in hospital for several long months. She related to Eli's state of mind and respected his decision, the families' support and execution of his wishes. As one of my favorite esteemed critics, she had many compliments for Ondi's film, her family members and the final days of Eli's celebration of life. We were moved by his grandson who asked for advice on "how to live life", to which Eli responded "Love those you know and respect those you don't".
To summarize Nena's commentary; this was a refreshing embracement of reality with depth and compassion, as opposed to the shallow redundancies that Americans are so prone to; something that is uncommon to see portrayed in the states, in life or on screen. To quote Nena, "This was a unique and important film that should be seen by everyone and deserves to win awards". I full-heartedly agreed.
America is about preserving life until the very end possible moment, despite the quality. Nena and I agree that people should be allowed to choose to end their suffering with dignity. I watched my grandmother suffer for a decade longer than she should have (or wanted to) at the hands of our ignorant and corrupt medical system and it was far from a positive experience. I will always appreciate having seen this film.
I will also add that we found the film and Q&A so compelling that neither one of us could find an appropriate time to go to the kitchen for tea, as we didn't want to miss a moment. Well done and thank you to Ondi and the Timoners for allowing themselves to be filmed during such a private, emotional time and sharing it with the world. Love to Lisa, Jukie, Rachel and the rest of the clan.
I had not experienced or witnessed this type of supportive family where I come from, it's more of an anomaly. I had the pleasure to work with Ondi on her film, Mapplethorpe, where we became close friends. The Timoners embraced me from the start, making me feel welcome and providing me a much-needed respite; a safe and comfortable place to join in some of their celebrations, allowing me a window to a new world of positivity and kindness. My previous life experiences, for the most part, demonstrated codependent trauma-bonding, conflict, divorce and people inflicting pain and sadness on each other. I've always been blessed to be "adopted by" or "welcomed into" open-minded families, such as the Timoners, who allow themselves to experience joy and had values more consistent with my own, where I could receive validation and witness, what I believed to be, a bit of sanity.
The pandemic prevented me from traveling to LA when I received news that Eli had decided to end his life so I attended the funeral over zoom. It was extremely difficult for me to watch the funeral alone from 3000 miles away so I knew the film would be equally painful. I decided to invite my friend, Nena Thurman (formerly Nena von Schlebrugge -wife of Robert Thurman and mother of Uma) to watch the Sundance premier with me. I had filmed a project in her home over 2 decades ago and she had become another parental figure and rock for me at crucial times; bestowing invaluable information on me when I became severely ill from toxic mold exposure at work. With our current medical system still in the dark ages, I attribute my current state of health to Nena introducing me to literature and a protocol that saved my life. I believed she would appreciate this film, because, much like Eli, she has lived an exhilarating life of work, travel and accomplishments, while also falling victim to painful and paralyzing health complications, which kept her in hospital for several long months. She related to Eli's state of mind and respected his decision, the families' support and execution of his wishes. As one of my favorite esteemed critics, she had many compliments for Ondi's film, her family members and the final days of Eli's celebration of life. We were moved by his grandson who asked for advice on "how to live life", to which Eli responded "Love those you know and respect those you don't".
To summarize Nena's commentary; this was a refreshing embracement of reality with depth and compassion, as opposed to the shallow redundancies that Americans are so prone to; something that is uncommon to see portrayed in the states, in life or on screen. To quote Nena, "This was a unique and important film that should be seen by everyone and deserves to win awards". I full-heartedly agreed.
America is about preserving life until the very end possible moment, despite the quality. Nena and I agree that people should be allowed to choose to end their suffering with dignity. I watched my grandmother suffer for a decade longer than she should have (or wanted to) at the hands of our ignorant and corrupt medical system and it was far from a positive experience. I will always appreciate having seen this film.
I will also add that we found the film and Q&A so compelling that neither one of us could find an appropriate time to go to the kitchen for tea, as we didn't want to miss a moment. Well done and thank you to Ondi and the Timoners for allowing themselves to be filmed during such a private, emotional time and sharing it with the world. Love to Lisa, Jukie, Rachel and the rest of the clan.