Judging by the DVD cover of this movie - WHICH I BORROWED FROM THE LIBRARY & DIDN'T PAY TO SEE - a guy holding a chainsaw and wearing the skins of his victims as an apron 2020 style - how original.
I had a paragraph here to type out next but I'm retracting it for publication because I can't be bothered typing it all out due to it being lengthy and not counting the strenuous extensive finger work and time it'd take.
Wow, we get to see Otto from 'Repo Man' at the start here typing text messages word-by-word on his phone as an introduction scene. Like that's what I want to watch in a movie! Gwen Stefani then jump scares from under the bed as Joey from 'The Wanderers' and either Selena Gomez, or Natalie Reyes, join the cast. They contemplate going to some maze theme park as there's nothing else to do in this movie.
Didn't I watch this movie only last week - Haunt (2019?) Okay, let's see a show of hands. Hands up who automatically hated the cast the moment they were introduced just then! The defense rests. (The 4 leads are about as likable as a box of unloved pet squid.)
King Kong Bundy, and a handful of Slipknot members, run some sort of Korn maize, I mean corn maze, out in Idaho and that clown from Motionless In White's A-M-E-R-I-C-A song appears as an Easter egg. Or, is it a ringmaster from an I. C. P. Song?
Everyone is registered and micro-chipped like animals before entering the vast acreage theme park, or is it some sort of tracking device like in 'The Running Man?' Who cares?
Hard hitting edgy PlayStation 2 music jingles as either Michael Madsen, or Alec Baldwin, maniacally drive the contestants to the center of the maze. (This scene's supposed to get your heart racing, and conjure adrenaline, but my lividity levels are reaching brain dead zone in a banal manner. In short, I'm sitting here like a Hubbard Squash vegetable. Or, some other spring variety. The point is I'm a vegetable) This is a stupid concept for a movie. The annoying cast continue to irritate - I can't take to them. No one can and no one will.
The sun baking slob from 'Zombie Flesh Eaters' shows up in a cameo. Movies only goes for 70 minutes and I wish it would hurry up and end already as it completely fails to ensnare the viewers care interest.
MY GOD. Anyone who hasn't seen this yet, but when you do, go straight to the 37:30 minute mark and listen to the noise Otto from 'Repo Man' makes. It's the kind of regurgitated sound this whole movie's aim is. I'm rewinding this scene as I've never heard that sound effect in a movie before.
This movie's incredible - two people have been slashed across the thigh, um that's a main artery, technically they should be dead, but this movie's so oblivious to its own incompetence they just carry on like it means nothing. This is incredulous that I'm enduring this stupidity! I'm letting this movie offend me yet I still sit here and take it?
Gee, director fella, were you inspired by Harley Quinn to base one of your characters off her? The killers, and Harley Quinn, have the drop on the four maze runners from the get-go so they've smothered their chances from the outset. They never stood a chance. It's almost claustrophobic the unfair advantage.
Apparently, the moral of the story is, if I'm reading it right, Selena Gomez, or Natalie Reyes, had a rare expensive hand cream in her pocket, which she purchased off Rodeo Drive somewhere, and the band of killers, and Harley Quinn, want to mass-produce cheap knockoff cosmetics and must steal the secret formula off her to make a fortune? What, that's it?
The movie's about hand cream, people, hand cream. Yes, you read correct - hand cream.
Why was this movie even made? Why was it approved for public consumption? Who green lighted it? Why? What purpose does it serve? It won't leave its mark on history. No one will talk about this movie next week let alone next month.
Do yourself a favor... watch 'Haunt' instead.
I had a paragraph here to type out next but I'm retracting it for publication because I can't be bothered typing it all out due to it being lengthy and not counting the strenuous extensive finger work and time it'd take.
Wow, we get to see Otto from 'Repo Man' at the start here typing text messages word-by-word on his phone as an introduction scene. Like that's what I want to watch in a movie! Gwen Stefani then jump scares from under the bed as Joey from 'The Wanderers' and either Selena Gomez, or Natalie Reyes, join the cast. They contemplate going to some maze theme park as there's nothing else to do in this movie.
Didn't I watch this movie only last week - Haunt (2019?) Okay, let's see a show of hands. Hands up who automatically hated the cast the moment they were introduced just then! The defense rests. (The 4 leads are about as likable as a box of unloved pet squid.)
King Kong Bundy, and a handful of Slipknot members, run some sort of Korn maize, I mean corn maze, out in Idaho and that clown from Motionless In White's A-M-E-R-I-C-A song appears as an Easter egg. Or, is it a ringmaster from an I. C. P. Song?
Everyone is registered and micro-chipped like animals before entering the vast acreage theme park, or is it some sort of tracking device like in 'The Running Man?' Who cares?
Hard hitting edgy PlayStation 2 music jingles as either Michael Madsen, or Alec Baldwin, maniacally drive the contestants to the center of the maze. (This scene's supposed to get your heart racing, and conjure adrenaline, but my lividity levels are reaching brain dead zone in a banal manner. In short, I'm sitting here like a Hubbard Squash vegetable. Or, some other spring variety. The point is I'm a vegetable) This is a stupid concept for a movie. The annoying cast continue to irritate - I can't take to them. No one can and no one will.
The sun baking slob from 'Zombie Flesh Eaters' shows up in a cameo. Movies only goes for 70 minutes and I wish it would hurry up and end already as it completely fails to ensnare the viewers care interest.
MY GOD. Anyone who hasn't seen this yet, but when you do, go straight to the 37:30 minute mark and listen to the noise Otto from 'Repo Man' makes. It's the kind of regurgitated sound this whole movie's aim is. I'm rewinding this scene as I've never heard that sound effect in a movie before.
This movie's incredible - two people have been slashed across the thigh, um that's a main artery, technically they should be dead, but this movie's so oblivious to its own incompetence they just carry on like it means nothing. This is incredulous that I'm enduring this stupidity! I'm letting this movie offend me yet I still sit here and take it?
Gee, director fella, were you inspired by Harley Quinn to base one of your characters off her? The killers, and Harley Quinn, have the drop on the four maze runners from the get-go so they've smothered their chances from the outset. They never stood a chance. It's almost claustrophobic the unfair advantage.
Apparently, the moral of the story is, if I'm reading it right, Selena Gomez, or Natalie Reyes, had a rare expensive hand cream in her pocket, which she purchased off Rodeo Drive somewhere, and the band of killers, and Harley Quinn, want to mass-produce cheap knockoff cosmetics and must steal the secret formula off her to make a fortune? What, that's it?
The movie's about hand cream, people, hand cream. Yes, you read correct - hand cream.
Why was this movie even made? Why was it approved for public consumption? Who green lighted it? Why? What purpose does it serve? It won't leave its mark on history. No one will talk about this movie next week let alone next month.
Do yourself a favor... watch 'Haunt' instead.