1/10
Hogwash
3 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I had problems with this movie from the very beginning when the D. A., Mark Brady (Walter Huston), casually called a couple of suspects into his office to get the facts from them about a killing. First he questioned a woman who was with the accused. After a few questions he was done with her. Next, the alleged killer came into his office--a nicely dressed, well-mannered, blond young man (which means he's a good guy really). The DA told him to say nothing to him and told him to seek counsel so that he could have the best chance of a light sentence.

That right there bothered me to no end. A paternalistic D. A. who's so good at his job he extracts confessions with just a talk, and so insightful that he can look at a young man and determine that he is a good kid overall who just happened to make a mistake. And I'm sure it had nothing to do with the suspect being a clean-cut white guy.

The clean-cut guy, Robert Graham (Phillips Holmes), was sentenced to ten years for manslaughter and you got the feeling it was the saddest day on Earth. Nobody wanted to ruin this young man's life, but per the criminal code book it had to be done. The whole world collectively grieved when handsome young Robert went to prison for killing a man.

"The Criminal Code" then skipped forward six years where we'd be treated to more inanity. Now Robert had been in prison for six years and he got the news that his mother died. Well, that made him crack. He broke down and could only be subdued the old school way: knocking him out with one punch.

Although Robert's mother died, he didn't know that his luck was about to change. Mark Brady, the former D. A., became warden of the prison and he brought his family with him including his pretty nubile daughter, Mary (Constance Cummings). Apparently, back in the 30's wardens used to live at the prison. I don't see how that was considered a perk.

When D. A.-turned-warden Brady arrived at the prison there was a big commotion from the inmates because he'd put over a thousand of them in there. To quell the brewing unrest, cowboy Brady went out to the prison yard of 2500 prisoners and stared them down. It was one of the biggest crocks that has ever unfolded on film. There were two thousand five hundred angry prisoners, and I'm to believe that a lone warden, with no back up, went to the yard and quieted them all with a glare as he smoked a cigar? GTFOH. All it takes is for one of them to have no more F's to give and that warden would've been trying to put the blood back into his carotid artery. They didn't get to prison by being choir boys and an angry mob is difficult to pacify on either side of prison walls.

Once Brady established himself as the alpha male he employed pretty boy Robert as his driver. This put Robert in close contact with Mary which helped him straighten right up. One moment he was on the verge of falling to pieces, then after one glimpse at Mary he was all square ready to be a model citizen again. If only there were 2499 more Marys for the rest of the prisoners, then the prison wouldn't even need bars.

It was only a matter of time before the two fell in love, and they did. Their love in lock-up would suffer a small setback when Robert witnessed a murder in the warden's office. Correction: he didn't witness a murder, he witnessed a killer (Boris Karloff) leaving the scene of a murder. When Robert was interrogated hard by Brady he stuck to the criminal code and kept his mouth shut. Brady came at Robert from just about every angle and Robert continued to stay mum.

Robert would've regressed back to his state of insanity if it weren't for dear Mary. She pleaded with her father on his behalf. Brady would hear nothing of his daughter's pleas until she said that she loved Robert. Then, suddenly, Brady was totally on board with getting Robert out of prison as soon as possible. It was some of the corniest stuff you'll ever see and it was also very revealing.

If anyone ever wondered how Karens are made, look no further than movies in the 1930's. Between "The Criminal Code," "Sporting Blood," "Bad Sister," and other movies, you'll see wives and daughters who are catered to and treated like princesses. Their whining and complaining is rewarded with whatever they request and that tradition has continued until now where their whining and complaining only makes them social media pariahs. They're no worse than their mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers before them, it's just that now their behavior isn't tolerated.

Karens aside, this movie is lousy as the day is long.
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