elizabethrenz Review of Scales: Mermaids Are Real

Scales: Mermaids Are Real (2017)

Scales: Mermaids aren't real we just couldn't come up with any ideas guys

[1/10 · 29 August 2022]

I remember I went into this movie thinking it would be good until the main character started talking about how she described how she felt about water. Just take this in: "not just drinking it- or swimming in it... loving it,tasting breathing it." And I just thought of a human going on about oxygen like that that. Like if you just made a new friend and they just start being turned on by air that's when you need to run. Because it ain't normal. But then we get to see the main character and that's when I had flash backs from bridge to Terebithia and Aweegaway. And I was like OH MY GOOOOOD ITS THAT AWFUL ACTRESSSSSSS THAT RUINS EVERY MOVIE AND MAKES BAD MOVIES EVEN WORSE. And then she says that she stays pretty far from it even though her house is beach front. And then there are other wierd scenes we must speak of because they made me rethink all mermaid movies and shows I ever watched as a small human like when the mermaid hunters who's leaders where Sirens best friend where like littarly giving off obvious hints they hunt mermaids and then while Siren and Adam where walking he said his dad hunts mermaids and Siren says that's wierd and proceeded to TELL ADAM THAT SHE WAS ONE. I mean I know we are trying to get to the climax of the story but that's just being cheap and cutting corners on script. Then Adam tells his dad and the hunters kidnap Sirens adoptive mother right after she goes to school and her gills decide they want to really have water. After that a few scenes later Siren is with her aunt in the safe house and we get a scene nobody thucking asked for because it is so gross. Ya da ya da ya da unimportant crap they threw in to make the movie longer and then we get to the ending scene when Siren MURDERS A MAN BY SUCKING ALL HIS BODILY FLUIDS OUT. Yah. That just....... Happens. And then her friend just says "Woah! You gotta teach me how to do that!" 👁-👁. What now- this girl just straight up asked how to COMMIT THIRD DEGREE MURDER. And she wasn't even being an immature middle schooler. She was genuine about this question. And then they all move off the beach all smiley like nothing thucking happened.