He's Watching (2022)
3/10
All the tell-tale signs of a terrible movie are there from the onset.
16 September 2022
There are some clear signs that a movie is going to be garbage if you pay attention to some subtle (and not so subtle) signs, and this one had them in spades. From the first 10 minutes, it's easy to realize that it was made of in "found-footage" style because they didn't have the budget to make a "real" movie. Not a deal breaker, but it gets worse. The movie switched from FF, to third person, to something like fourth-person (an "invisible" being recording everyone at the same time?) and I just didn't understand the underlying pathology behind this kind of filmmaking. If you wanted to make a movie and you could only afford an iPhone and your own family members as actors, why not just go full steam ahead? Why try to interject horrible segments of art-house, mixed in with misguided attempts at making some of the film appear like it isn't even FF? It's just a mess from the ground up, and I didn't get it, I didn't care for it, and after 40 minutes I just decided to stop wasting my time and turned it off. Honestly, I should have done it at the 20 minute mark but I wanted to see just how bad it was going to get. Glutton for punishment and all that.

I should have known this was going to be trash when I saw the political "Kick the GOP" bumper sticker on the youngest sons bedroom door. Then you see the feminist literature all over the house and it cements this very fact. I'm going to be paying even closer attention to these little details from now on, just so that I can identify these garbage productions and save some time and energy by not giving them any of mine.

The movie gets 3 stars because the two child actors weren't terrible. That's it.

Ignore this movie. It's not worth anyone's time or patience. It's the type of movie that will be forgotten and never be spoken of again, as it shouldn't be.
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