It's been a long time since I've seen a movie so incompetently made as "The Last Voyage."
It doesn't waste any time getting to the disaster, I'll give it that. The movie just starts with the cruise liner already on fire, and we see the crew trying to contain it over the opening credits. Robert Stack and Dorothy Malone are apparently the only people on the cruise ship affected by a big explosion that blows a hole right through the middle of the ship. Malone gets trapped under a big piece of metal, where she'll stay for the rest of the movie. Stack has to first save his daughter, who disturbingly looks like an adult Shirley Temple impersonator who's been shrunk back to child size. He then spends literally 45 minutes running around the ship with Woody Strode looking for a blow torch, because this cruise liner apparently has absolutely no emergency protocols other than propping giant pieces of timber (where those came from I have no idea) against the leaky hull in the inexplicable belief that that will stop water from coming in.
Late in the movie, we finally see some other people getting into lifeboats. Stack gives his daughter to Woody Strode to raise so he can die with his wife. Strode seems game. Speaking of him, thank god this particular ship has him on board, since he's the only person in the movie who does anything useful, and he does it all wearing only a neckerchief.
The less than spectacular special effects earned "The Last Voyage" an Oscar nomination.
This movie is really bad, but it's a hoot to make fun of.
Grade: D+
It doesn't waste any time getting to the disaster, I'll give it that. The movie just starts with the cruise liner already on fire, and we see the crew trying to contain it over the opening credits. Robert Stack and Dorothy Malone are apparently the only people on the cruise ship affected by a big explosion that blows a hole right through the middle of the ship. Malone gets trapped under a big piece of metal, where she'll stay for the rest of the movie. Stack has to first save his daughter, who disturbingly looks like an adult Shirley Temple impersonator who's been shrunk back to child size. He then spends literally 45 minutes running around the ship with Woody Strode looking for a blow torch, because this cruise liner apparently has absolutely no emergency protocols other than propping giant pieces of timber (where those came from I have no idea) against the leaky hull in the inexplicable belief that that will stop water from coming in.
Late in the movie, we finally see some other people getting into lifeboats. Stack gives his daughter to Woody Strode to raise so he can die with his wife. Strode seems game. Speaking of him, thank god this particular ship has him on board, since he's the only person in the movie who does anything useful, and he does it all wearing only a neckerchief.
The less than spectacular special effects earned "The Last Voyage" an Oscar nomination.
This movie is really bad, but it's a hoot to make fun of.
Grade: D+