Hardly the best punning title in porn history (that honor for me goes to vintage jokes like THE CZECH IS IN THE MALE and BANG THE NUN SLOWLY), LUST TANGO takes cursory inspiration from the breakthrough Marlon Brando film, but turns it into an excuse for generic porn.
Jeanna Fine sporting a platinum blonde hairdo and attempted French accent gets things rolling by picking up Buddy Love and having sex with him, watched by Honey Wilder. This turns out to be just a teaser, as Honey wakes up, having dreamed it all.
Honey's lover Paul criticizes her (unfortunately he reads his lines stiffly off of cue cards, a feat Brando did far better) and leaves her. Honey is obsessed with Paris. She shows Jerry Butler an apartment -when they get to the bedroom, they make love. She leaves and nubile Keisha arrives, looking not like Maria Schneider as intended but rather resembling a busty version of Lizzy Caplan. Paul returns and humps Keisha, so a pattern of story film succumbing to wall- to-wall sex prerogatives is set.
Next Butler and his pal Joey Silvera ring the doorbell, and troilism ensues with Keisha. After she leaves Honey returns, and underage looking Toni Bush arrives to return Honey's lost purse. (Only problem is that the newcomer Bush can't act.) Toni masturbates and Honey punishes her with a spanking, followed by a lesbian initiation.
Paul arrives with Bertolucci films on his mind and shows Honey a tab of butter -you guessed it - he butters up her ass and humps her from behind. Director Fred Lincoln doesn't bother much with camera angles so the ensuing would-be anal scene remains ambiguous. The end credits follow, including 6 minutes of padding in the form of highlights from the video's sex scenes.
To call this pointless would be redundant. I always enjoy watching Honey WIlder but this is one of her weaker vehicles. As for Ms. Bush, she's just another wannabe who never made it.
Jeanna Fine sporting a platinum blonde hairdo and attempted French accent gets things rolling by picking up Buddy Love and having sex with him, watched by Honey Wilder. This turns out to be just a teaser, as Honey wakes up, having dreamed it all.
Honey's lover Paul criticizes her (unfortunately he reads his lines stiffly off of cue cards, a feat Brando did far better) and leaves her. Honey is obsessed with Paris. She shows Jerry Butler an apartment -when they get to the bedroom, they make love. She leaves and nubile Keisha arrives, looking not like Maria Schneider as intended but rather resembling a busty version of Lizzy Caplan. Paul returns and humps Keisha, so a pattern of story film succumbing to wall- to-wall sex prerogatives is set.
Next Butler and his pal Joey Silvera ring the doorbell, and troilism ensues with Keisha. After she leaves Honey returns, and underage looking Toni Bush arrives to return Honey's lost purse. (Only problem is that the newcomer Bush can't act.) Toni masturbates and Honey punishes her with a spanking, followed by a lesbian initiation.
Paul arrives with Bertolucci films on his mind and shows Honey a tab of butter -you guessed it - he butters up her ass and humps her from behind. Director Fred Lincoln doesn't bother much with camera angles so the ensuing would-be anal scene remains ambiguous. The end credits follow, including 6 minutes of padding in the form of highlights from the video's sex scenes.
To call this pointless would be redundant. I always enjoy watching Honey WIlder but this is one of her weaker vehicles. As for Ms. Bush, she's just another wannabe who never made it.