Slash Dance (1989) Poster

(1989)

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2/10
Dancing with death.
BA_Harrison4 January 2015
Slashdance is one of a handful of 80s horror movies to use the then popular aerobics/dance/workout craze to try and wring a few last drops of blood from the dying slasher sub-genre (others include Aerobicide, Death Spa, Murder Rock, and Stage Fright). It seems like an obvious ploy, the inevitable bevy of beautiful women shaking their booty providing both gratuitous T&A and plenty of potential victims ripe for slaughter, but somehow Slashdance manages to make a complete mess of matters, its prolonged dance scenes only serving to make what is already a very boring horror film even more tedious.

Cindy Maranne stars as attractive but tough cop Tori Raines, who works undercover as a dancer in an old theatre in order catch the maniac responsible bumping off girls auditioning for a musical. What we get here is a couple of virtually gore-free death scenes, but tons of embarrassingly bad dance routines from the attractive but untalented hoofers, most of whom would make a drunken granny at a wedding look like Ginger Rogers. To make matters worse, writer/director James Shyman opts for a semi-comedic approach that is truly cringe-worthy, with comical characters including two fat female steroid pushers (played by wrestler Queen Kong and Kelle Favara), perverted stage manager Rupert (John Bluto), and retarded prime suspect Amos (Joel Von Ornsteiner).

As if the whole film wasn't padded out enough with interminable scenes of the dancers practising their pathetic moves ("1, 2, 3, and kick, 5, 6, 7, and knee" ad nauseum), Shyman also adds numerous shots of Los Angeles hot-spots, making parts of his film feel like they were made for the L.A. tourist board. All that time wasted watching random people walking and driving up and down Hollywood streets and there's not even one gratuitous shower scene from the sexy showgirls. For shame!
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3/10
Supremely cheesy and amateurish, but watchable
gtc8317 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Girls auditioning for a dance company start disappearing. A cop from the LAPD goes undercover to investigate. What she finds is, well, the murders seem forgotten for much of the movie. She mostly just dances (like some remedial aerobics class), turns down propositions from one of her fellow cops, and endures a lot of conversations with the chief of police, who wants to run for political office. She also has flashbacks about her sister who died of a drug overdose and her mother who committed suicide because of her daughter's death. This has absolutely nothing to do with the plot.

The good: Well, we do get some hot babes in really sexy '80s leotards. Unfortunately the video quality on the DVD is very poor, obviously this was made from an old and somewhat worn-out video tape, so it's hard to appreciate them too much.

The bad: Everything else. Like I said, the plot is pretty much forgotten for the entire middle part of the movie. There's absolutely no tension or suspense. There are no killings in this part of the movie, and no police investigation. It's completely boring except for the hot babes in their leotards. Acting is pretty bad, and half the characters seem to be attempting some sort of comedy, none of which works. The production is very amateurish; I especially got a kick out of the way they use scenes of downtown Hollywood as transitions between other scenes, and these transition scenes have no soundtrack - just complete silence.

Overall, this movie comes in a ten-movie set, and so it's very, very inexpensive. I would be pretty mad if I paid full price for this DVD alone, but as part of this set, I can hardly complain. It's too boring to be so-bad-it's-good, but it is a nice glimpse at some of the micro-budget junk that was turned out in the straight-to-video market in the late '80s. I'd choose it over some of the micro-budget junk turned out today. It's just a cryin' shame that nobody bothered to track down the original film of this movie to use for the DVD transfer, I would have really liked to see those babes with better video quality.
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2/10
Yet another awful dance related slasher movie
LuisitoJoaquinGonzalez12 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Slashdance is one of seven stalk and slash movies that attempted to mix murderous splatter shenanigans with the joys of dancing. Lucio Fulci can be credited with kicking it all off for the post-Halloween crowd with his dull and relatively goreless Giallo/slasher Murderock in '84. Then in '87 came Stripped to kill, which was followed two years later by the sequel Live Girls. The early nineties brought the sub category Deadly Dancer (90), Dance with Death (91) and Anthony Markes' Last Dance (92); but to the best of my knowledge that was the end of the dancing slasher craze. Looking at the aforementioned list of mediocre dance related titles meant that Slashdance would really have to be pull off something quite fabulous to bring some credibility to the category. I knew after the first twenty minutes that it was going to be mission impossible for James Shyman, as he seemed convinced to turn this into yet another rancid horror/comedy.

In the opening scene, a pretty young blonde turns up at the Vans lake theatre company looking to audition as a dancer. Alice Ryan (Cynthia Cheston) is surprised that the place seems to be abandoned when she arrives, but continues onto the dimly lighted stage to stretch and warm up. We know exactly where this is heading when we see the silhouette of a caped and hooded stranger lurking in the shadows behind the curtains. The ominous figure then picks up a handy saw and creeps up behind the unsuspecting female. As the ambitious youngster twists and spins, the maniac strikes; slashing her throat and leaving her gasping for air on the centre stage.

Next up we meet our protagonist and odds on heroine of the feature. Detective Tori Anne Raines (Cindy Maranne) is a Dirty Harriett-type tough as nails but equally attractive cop with a do or die attitude. We see just how raw to the core she is in two mindless scenes, which I'm sure were just thrown in as padding. First she batters and arrests two whale-like female steroid dealers who later become her buddies; then whilst undercover as a bag lady she locks up two leather-clad biker punks after a hilarious scrap in an alley. One of the said hoodlums underlines her apparent toughness by commenting, "I got beating up by a pair of tits!" Classy, huh? Before long Tori's egotistical and actually fairly amusing Captain (by far the film's only real notable comic performance, from Jay Richardson) puts her on the case of the missing dancers. After some help from her new buddies whom she arrested only days earlier, Tori decides to go undercover as a wannabe boogie queen down at the Vans Lake theatre. But just who could be the killer?

In a way it's a shame that James Shyman thought he would get the best results by attempting to mix comedy with a slasher that could have perhaps had potential. Cindy Maranne looked like she could have handled leading a serious role, while she had equally promising back up from Jackson Daniel and one or two other cast members that certainly didn't look to be the worst actors that I'd seen. But in the end all that was left was a pile of tongue in cheek rubbish that just wasn't funny and wasn't particularly interesting either. Perhaps the most irritating of the many comic relief characters was the woefully awful Amos (Joel Von Ornsteiner). He bizarrely seemed to believe that 'acting' amounted to stuttering like he had just swallowed his teeth and talking like a crack head in a straight jacket. The only really funny scenes in Slashdance seemed to be created inadvertently. There was a real howler towards the end of the movie, which just about summed up the mediocrity of the entire production. Whilst fleeing the masked killer, the final girl throws her shoe at him in a last gasp form of self-defence. It was a wise decision by the strumpet, because somewhat miraculously the force of the high-heel killed him instantaneously! Maybe they were razor-capped stilettos, eh? Ho-hum indeed.

On the plus side, there is the chance to see a gang of moderately attractive thirty-somethings twist and wiggle around the stage in skimpy leotards. But if that's what you're after, you could go down to the disco on a Saturday night and see the exact same thing with the added benefit of perhaps taking one of them home with you. There's also a poorly constructed mystery element that you'll guess by the forty-minute mark if you've got two brain cells in working order. There's no blood or creativity in any of the stalking scenes either. If I remember correctly, only two skimpy leotards were exchanged for funeral attire by the dancers. Both murders were anaemic, poorly staged and totally devoid of any tension. The killer's disguise was also scrapping the bottom of the wardrobe barrel. It looked like he had a black pillowcase over his head with two hand-cut eye-holes. Shyman didn't even manage to make it look like he wanted this movie to succeed. Perhaps it was a front for a tax loss or something?

So there you have it. Slashdance is an utterly avoidable effort that fails to deliver as a slasher, as a comedy or even as a dance movie. There's really nothing to recommend here and its best avoided.
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1/10
do you like women wrestler movies?
ThrownMuse7 December 2004
This slasher-with-not-much-slashing is NOT the Lucio Fulci flick (aka Murderrock). With a title like Slash Dance, I was expecting this to be a hoot. This is apparently a little-seen movie and it should stay that way. Young women start disappearing when showing up at a shoddy Hollywood theatre to audition for...um...a chorus line or something. A detective goes undercover and...um...joins it. The story doesn't make sense, the acting is painful, and the dancing is even worse. The 80s fashion and music is the kind that everyone tries to forget. There are several failed attempts at humor that don't work because of stoneface delivery. The most bizarre part of this movie is that some of the castmembers (including the abs-of-steel lead) were GLOW wrestlers. There are also two characters that are apparently beach steroid dealers that act like...well...pro wrestlers. If you really enjoy bad 80s movies that are borderline "so bad it's good," then you might get some chuckles out of this. I didn't quite make it to that point. My rating: 1/10
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1/10
A real stinker
SpaceJase31 August 2003
Do yourself a favor, don't rent this waste of plastic. Use the 50 cents to buy a Vanilla Coke and you will have a much better day.

This is not a slasher film. It is more like an after-school special with some bad words thrown in to get an R rating. The sound track (two songs repeated over and over countless times) has that homemade "Casio" sound. The supposed dance routines are not quite as professional looking as 6th grade cheerleading practice. The lousy attempts at humor are not nearly as funny as the fact that the writer/director actually put his name at the end of the film. Some people have no shame.
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Not that bad
MeanYOB645 September 2013
This movie was nothing like I expected from what I read in a horror movie guide before watching, which stated the movie consisted of alternating dance routines and brutal murders, but this description is simply wrong. The first twenty minutes or so is really fast moving and entertaining, when the lead actress fights with the two thugs, I was utterly mesmerized by her wrestling moves, and in general the fight scenes are fairly well choreographed. The initial tone of the movie is surprisingly cheerful and upbeat, with loads of comic overtones, notably Queen Kong and her compatriot are an absolute riot as a couple of bumbling small-time crooks, I couldn't stop laughing while they were on screen, they were just so ridiculous. Classic. The movie grinds down a bit in the middle, which I attribute to the director blowing all the rest of the budget on the CG dagger that spins on the films' title, yes you read right, there is CG in this movie, take that Jim Cameron's Abyss! Things gather steam again towards the end and there is even a tease at a sequel we will never know about. Overall, Slash Dance is streets ahead of most Troma movies, granted there are some competitive lulls, though if you watch it after midnight with someone close who also loves B movies, you will remember the experience forever, even if the memory of the film may fade away.

Peace

Nichole
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2/10
Slasher vs dance company. Viewer loses.
ChuckStraub30 November 2005
What a pathetically bad movie. As a slasher movie, the tension and excitement are non-existent. If you're looking for gore, blood and guts,this isn't for you either. If you blink a few times while watching the movie, you might miss what little there is. The acting is soooo bad. It's hard to tell if they are trying to be that bad to be funny or are they really that bad. The characters are pitiful. There seems to have been very little thought put into this film. They did try to interject some humor into the film, which just made it worse. So let's see, it isn't scary, exciting, or humorous and the acting is terrible. But at least you have the dancing. No, you don't have that either. What you have is several girls trying to act like they are professional dancers all the while saying one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight as they do their so-called dance moves. The dancing is a joke, they are terrible. There is nothing in this movie worth watching. It's dull, boring, and poorly acted. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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5/10
Slash Dance 80's Horror/Camp Fun!
glowwrestling18 August 2015
I watched this film as a child originally. It was one of many films that created my interest in bad horror/comedy movies. I recently re-watched it because I realized that several of the ladies from GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) starred and were featured. America from GLOW is in the lead role with supporting roles by GLOW Characters Matilda The Hun and Beastie. Do not expect a regular cheap horror movie with this one. It was made to be a combination horror/comedy film and is purposely campy.

Website Admin The Official GLOW Fan Blog http://glowwrestling.tumblr.com/
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Flop mash-up of incompatible genres
lor_13 April 2023
My review was written in July 1989 after watching the film on Glencoe video cassette.

Catchy title notwithstanding, "Slash Dance" is a meek horror thriller headed for home video shelves.

Filmmaker James Shyman's tame approach is more slasher-film meets "A Chorus Line" than the Jennifer Beals pic punned upon. A maniac is killing the young women auditioning for a role in a musical show at the Van Slake theater. Lovely cop Cindy Maranne goes undercover as a dancer to root out the baddie.

Minor plot pits Van Slake heirs Joel von Ornsteiner and William Kerr as prime, too-obvious suspects.

Pic suffers from too much attempted comic relief (Von Ornsteiner's geek-style overacting is a pain) and surprising prudishness. Dancing, endlessly shown in rehearsal form, is boring and staged without style. Tech credits, especially Geza Sinkovics' colorful lensing, are above average.
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"Chorus Line meets Slasher Flick"
tferda22 October 2001
Quite entertaining for a lower budget independent film. Whenever the film begins to slow, it is saved by the decent acting and pretty face of Cindy Maranne (Americana GLOW Wrestling). If you're a straight-to-video fan from the 80's you'll love this flick.
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Dancing Days...
azathothpwiggins7 June 2022
In the magnum opus that is SLASH DANCE, someone is murdering the beautiful female dancers of Hollywood. It's up to undercover cop Tori Raines (Cindy Ferda) to infiltrate the killer's hunting ground (aka: an old theater) and get to the bottom of the unfathomable terror.

Can Tori stop the heinous monster before he kills again? Well, no, but she sure can dance!

For those who long for those simpler, more MTV-influenced days of yesteryear, SLASH DANCE will transport you there!

WARNING: This movie contains scenes of intense Spandex and legwarmers!...
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