Wed, Feb 11, 2004
Simon makes sure 'by the way' everybody knows about a TV special 'Where are they Now' about teen boy band 'Cross My Heart' (he was 'Simon Sez'). After airhead sister Maddy, who dumps Lance so she can study, gives his romantic Valentine's day routine away to Liz at the last moment, Bobby must top that immediately. However he can only book a paint-gun session. Mace makes a third run against Frankie Sacco to be elected president of the merchant association. When their children benefit winter carnival's musical act cancels, Mace offers Cross My Heart, although he shamelessly laughed at Simon to his face, which leaves only two days to prepare the reunion. Philip gets jealous, hearing studly gay band member Rad Brad still has a crush on Simon.
Wed, Jan 21, 2004
When Simon asks Audrey to make costumes for a small musical theater production benefiting gun control, Mace is furious to find out that she is involved with the show at all. But when both of the leads have to be replaced at the last minute, Audrey and Philip can only hope for the support of their own leading men.
Wed, Oct 29, 2003
Bobby is amazed Liz's dad actually hires a party organizer, Joffrey, for Halloween - the theme being 'favorite Cole Porter song characters'. He sweetly volunteers to be a free barman, and to his helpless horror finds it is a job requiring an 'authentic' harlequin costume. Simon refuses to wear matched costumes Gershwin but regrets changing his mind further. Mace won't go to their doctor to heal his ulcer, so they hide Dr. Moretti's preference but they meet the doctor as cross-dressed party guest. Joffrey's own secret comes out.
Wed, Oct 1, 2003
Bobby and Liz break the news of their secret engagement to their families and each gets a less than warm response. In fact, Bobby's conversation with his folks ends with him moving into Liz's parents' guest house. Naturally, this doesn't thrill Philip and Simon, but at the risk of losing Liz completely, they agree to the situation temporarily until Bobby can work things out with his parents.
Tue, Mar 30, 2004
It's time for the happy couple's bachelor parties, but the O'Neils have rather unattractive traditions. Liz accepts an invitation to join a hen night where Maddy gets a female stripper to teach everybody to do it themselves, the major talent is none other then Audrey. The stag night is traditionally camping in the woods, but to Bobby's delight Mace treats his family to a comfortable log cabin. They fail to tell Simon and Philip, who accepted their novel challenge to put up their own tent. As the stripper dressed as park ranger wasn't informed, she arrives with them. This gives the dirty O'Neil game away and calls for revenge, especially because Philip recently made a last attempt to get Liz back together with her more 'acceptable' ex Shane.
Wed, Dec 17, 2003
Bobby and Liz's families are trying their best to blend their very different styles of celebrating Christmas when a Christmas Eve delivery to Philip and Simon's house injures "Santa" Mace. And Bobby feels pressure to compete with the lavish Christmas gifts that Philip and Simon have planned for Liz.
Tue, Apr 6, 2004
The happy couple goes to register for wedding presents; to Bobby's disappointment nothing he'll ever appreciate and barely use. The groom gets dumped with other husbands, but plans a common rebellion. HE soon gets distracted with 'Bay watch' on the big screen TV. Simon couldn't come because someone had to assemble a baby crib for the lesbian friends' shower. Mace helps him just to escape the household store. Philip goes and bonds with salesman Lewis, but goes to excessive lengths (actually heights), to get from the display the 'no longer sold' gravy bowl to complete the perfect matching dinner set. So TV shrink Dr. Bob, for whose book signing session Audrey left Maddie at the fitting, is called in.
Wed, Jan 28, 2004
When Simon brings his teaching assistant, Lance, to the bar, he decides to encourage Maddy and Lance's obvious spontaneous attraction. The O'Neills feel that an academic is out of her league -Bobby recognizes the 'look'. Philip remembers Simon's matchmaking invariably ends in disaster. Philip turns up in class where Simon asked the pair to help his kids with their artistic expression, while his perfectionism antagonizes all except Nathan. Meanwhile in the pub Mace's rivalry with Dan escalates and they get to the punching root of the problem.
Wed, Feb 25, 2004
Philip's plans to view the Oscars are spoiled when Mace accidentally breaks the remote control. Their desperate attempt to get the remote fixed lands them in the emergency room with a nurse who certainly wouldn't win any awards for her bedside manner. Meanwhile Simon teaches Audrey the fine art of "dissing celebrities" on the red carpet and, to her own amazement, she unleashes a hidden talent.