Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

Arthur (1959)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction - Hitchcock is in a chicken coop] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and brooders. I decided to go into the egg business. Like any other business, it needs fresh ideas. Here is our latest design.

  [picks up an egg out of a nest] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : Its advantages are obvious.

  [close-up of the egg, which is in the shape of a polyhedron] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : No more eggs rolling off the table.

  [pull back] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : Valuable storage space saved in the refrigerator. Unfortunately, this particular innovation has not filtered down below the management level. Our executives quickly saw its possibilities, but the hens seem rather slow at grasping new ideas. This is one of our plastic models. We have a large number of them scattered about to demonstrate to the hens what can be done if they put their minds to it.

  [puts egg back in the nest] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : As you can see,

  [walks over to sign that reads 'THINK SQUARE'] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : ...we are using every psychological weapon at man's disposal. And now perhaps this slogan will give you strength to bridge the gap between this vignette and tonight's story.

• [afterword] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : [Hitchcock is still in the coop]  There was a very sad end to our story. Because of the excellent bone, meat and blood meal Mr. Williams kept supplying them, his chickens grew to enormous size. Then it happened. One day as he shouldered his way to the hungry flock... But it's too awful to describe. Please rejoin me in a minute after I pull myself together.

  [commercial break] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : [Hitchcock is now in an empty studio]  I have abandoned the egg business. Our model

  [holds up polyhedron egg] 

  Alfred Hitchcock - Host : was successful in only one case: one hen dutifully reproduced it perfectly, but unfortunately, the uses of a plastic egg are rather limited. It appears to be time to say good night. Next week, we shall be back with another story.