All in the Family (TV Series)

Archie the Hero (1975)

Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Quotes 

• Mike Stivic : [Archie had saved the life of a female impersonator, unbeknownst to him]  If you had known he was a man, what would you have done?

  Archie Bunker : I suppose I would've got a fag fireman.

• Archie Bunker : Now along comes this colored cop, see, and he wants to take over the mouth-to-mouth, but I'm thinking fast. I say no, I send him for the ambulance, you know, because if you give a person the wrong breath type, you could kill that person.

  Mike Stivic : She could have wound up with a black lung.

  Archie Bunker : That's right.

• Mike Stivic : You'd be surprised how many married guys with kids are transvestites.

  Archie Bunker : How is it you know so much about these things? Let me see your underwear.

• Archie Bunker : Oh, Edith, you're lookin' at a hero. What I done in my cab tonight you'll never guess.

  Mike Stivic : You picked up a Puerto Rican.

  Archie Bunker : I said I was a hero, not a daredevil.

• Mike Stivic : Ma, you know what's nice about Archie?

  Edith : What?

  Mike Stivic : You can't think of anything either, huh?