Dallas (TV Series)

If at First You Don't Succeed (1984)

Larry Hagman: J.R. Ewing

Quotes 

• J.R. Ewing : [re Donna]  Sue Ellen, I don't understand. It's bad enough having that woman in my office, why did you have to ask her for dinner?

  Sue Ellen Ewing : I just thought it would be nice to be around family for a change.

  J.R. Ewing : Family?

  [scoffs] 

  J.R. Ewing : The only one who qualifies for family is Ray, and he misses by half.

• Ray Krebbs : Well, at least some of the pressure's off, now that we know Barnes is the one that shot Bob.

  Donna Culver Krebbs : Well, the pressure might be off of us, but what about Pam?

  J.R. Ewing : I don't give a damn about Pam. All that concerns me is Bobby getting his sight back.

  Clayton Farlow : Doctors expect that might happen any day.

  J.R. Ewing : What doctors expect and what might happen are two different things, Clayton.

  Donna Culver Krebbs : J.R., there is no reason to be pessimistic.

  J.R. Ewing : I'll tell you what I'm pessimistic about: You being in my office. Now you can save yourself a lot of time and trouble by not coming in... because nothing important is gonna happen until Bobby gets back.

  Donna Culver Krebbs : Well, I know that. But I'll tell you what: I'm gonna be there just to make sure that nothing does.

  J.R. Ewing : Oh, wonderful.

  Sue Ellen Ewing : Donna, the Ewings have had their problems, but you know perfectly well that J.R. is not going to take advantage of Bobby while he's in the hospital.

  Donna Culver Krebbs : J.R. would take advantage of anybody at any time.

  J.R. Ewing : [to Donna]  You do not belong in Ewing Oil!

  Donna Culver Krebbs : I am there at Bobby's request and I'm gonna stay there till he asks me to leave.

  Ray Krebbs : All right, that's enough. Let's just cut it out!

  [softly insists:] 

  Ray Krebbs : Can we please have this dinner in peace?

  J.R. Ewing : There's not gonna be any peace until she gets out of my office.

  Clayton Farlow : Come on, J.R. The only thing we ought to be concerned about is Bobby. Now think how he's got to be feeling right now.

• J.R. Ewing : Well, you got a lot of nerve coming round here after what your brother did to mine.

  Pamela Barnes Ewing : What were you doing there yesterday when my brother was arrested?

  J.R. Ewing : You consider that your business, do you?

  Pamela Barnes Ewing : Yes, I do, because I think you had something to do with it.

  J.R. Ewing : What on earth could I have to do with it?

  Pamela Barnes Ewing : How did you know he would be arrested that precise moment?

  J.R. Ewing : Well, I have friends in the department. I went down there to see the expression on that worm's face when the police arrest him for shooting my brother.

  Pamela Barnes Ewing : Let me tell you something, J.R.! If he did shoot Bobby, it's because he thought it was you, and he had every reason to shoot you.

  J.R. Ewing : You know, I'm getting tired of that old song. Mean nasty J.R. beating up on poor innocent Cliff Barnes. You're sounding more and more like him, you know that?

  Pamela Barnes Ewing : Well, that's fine with me, because that means I'm beginning to sound more like a Barnes, thanks to you. I've never believed in the Barnes-Ewing feud, J.R., but now I'm going to *join* it. I'm gonna do everything I can to help Cliff, and I'm not gonna rest until *all* our families' scores are settled!

  [walks away furiously] 

• Sly : Excuse me, J.R. Martha Randolph is out here...

  J.R. Ewing : Oh, Lord, who else...?

  Sly : Shall I show her in?

  J.R. Ewing : No, don't show her in!

  Donna Culver Krebbs : Of course show her in.

  Sly : She's very upset.

  J.R. Ewing : I don't wanna see that woman!

  Martha Randolph : I *bet* you don't!

  [enters office] 

  Martha Randolph : Why would you want to see me? You destroyed my marriage, you destroyed my husband...

  J.R. Ewing : Your husband was finished before I ever laid eyes on him.

  Martha Randolph : Oh, no. Edgar had problems, but they were under control. He spent years building a new life. And then *you* dredged up his past and blackmailed him.

  J.R. Ewing : Sly, would you get a hold of the building security and get them up here right away?

  Martha Randolph : You are *evil*, Mr. Ewing. You are *evil through and through*. What I don't understand is how you always escape punishment.

  Donna Culver Krebbs : [tries placing her hand on Martha's shoulder]  Martha...

  Martha Randolph : [snaps at Donna]  Don't touch me!

  [Donna pulls back her hand] 

  Martha Randolph : I've heard about your brother. Now he's paying for your crimes. Who's next, Mr. Ewing? Who's going to be next?

  J.R. Ewing : Will somebody get this woman out of here?

  Donna Culver Krebbs : Martha, this is not the way to solve anything.

  Martha Randolph : My husband... is in a mental hospital because of you.

  J.R. Ewing : Sure he is. That maniac tried to kill me.

  Martha Randolph : Yes, he did. And my only regret is that he missed. Because it wouldn't have cost him any more if he had killed you.

  [leans forward across desk] 

  Martha Randolph : One of these days,

  [smiles:] 

  Martha Randolph : somebody is going to do it.

  [shakes her head:] 

  Martha Randolph : And I just hope I'm there to watch.

  [fixes him with a dirty look, a fixed stare which she holds like she's pinning down a butterfly] 

  Donna Culver Krebbs : Martha... Martha...

  [Martha finally relents and walks past out of the office]