The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (TV Series)
Striptease for Two (1992)
Alfonso Ribeiro: Carlton Banks
Quotes
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Philip Banks : [to Will and Carlton] I wanna know what excuse you two have for pulling such a stupid stunt.
Carlton Banks : We needed the money.
Philip Banks : For what? And I want the truth.
William 'Will' Smith : All right, it's like this, Uncle Phil. See, Carlton got this inside tip on a stock.
Philip Banks : Federal offense. Go on.
William 'Will' Smith : Then we pawned Aunt Viv's bracelet to get the money for the stock.
Philip Banks : Grand larceny. Impressive.
William 'Will' Smith : Then, we lost the money, so we had to strip to get the bracelet back.
Philip Banks : That would be indecent exposure. Is there more?
Carlton Banks : I'm afraid so, Dad. We never got the clasp fixed on Mom's bracelet.
Philip Banks : [starts to laugh] You never got...
[Will and Carlton laugh with him]
Philip Banks : I don't know what to say!
[They laugh harder]
Philip Banks : What can I do? What do you boys think I should do?
William 'Will' Smith : I don't know, reward us for our honesty?
[Will, Carlton and Philip laugh]
William 'Will' Smith : Hey, it worked for the Beav!
Philip Banks : The Beav!
[They all laugh harder... until Philip bursts to his feet]
Philip Banks : DO I LOOK LIKE A WHITE GUY NAMED WARD? Now you get that bracelet back and, for the next six weeks, I don't want to hear you *breathe*, or I'm calling the Feds myself!
[Philip storms out]
William 'Will' Smith : I-I guess this probably ain't the best time to tell him we ran over the mailbox.
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Geoffrey : It's called inside information and it's quite illegal.
Carlton Banks : So is that French nanny you're dating.
Geoffrey : ...Enough said.
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Carlton Banks : Granted, we are desperate for money, but maybe you should stop and think about the kind of life you'd be leading.
William 'Will' Smith : Yeah, you're right. Dancing around in some cheap club while women put dollars down my underpants. I love this country!
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Geoffrey : [to Will and Carlton] Ahh, my financial advisors have arrived. Moron! Fat head!
Carlton Banks : I didn't know the Dodgers were playing.
Geoffrey : They're not.
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Vivian Banks : Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute!
Carlton Banks : [covers himself up] Mommy!
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Woman at Ladies' Club : [after Carlton really gets into a strip dance for a frenzied crowd] TAKE IT OFF!
Vivian Banks : PUT IT ON! Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute!
Carlton Banks : Mommy!