The Golden Girls (TV Series)

And Ma Makes Three (1988)

James Karen: Raymond

Quotes 

• Sophia Petrillo : Reminds me of the place I met Charles de Gaulle. We were lovers, you know.

  Raymond : Really?

  Dorothy Zbornak : Ma, that's a lie.

  Sophia Petrillo : Who asked you?

  Sophia Petrillo : Picture it: Sicily, 1921. A beautiful young peasant girl saves her lira and takes a trip to Paris, the city of lights, also the only place a guy can wear a cape without getting a lot of funny looks. She wanders into a restaurant and ends up sharing a table with a dashing young Frenchman. They drink, they talk, they burn a cork and draw mustaches on each other.

  Raymond : What?

  Sophia Petrillo : Just wanted to see if you were listening. Anyway, the next thing she knows, it's hours later, the place is empty, and the Frenchman's got his schnoz down her blouse. This begins a beautiful love affair. Kids, I was that peasant girl, and the schnoz was Charles the Mole.

  Raymond : Charles the Mole?

  Sophia Petrillo : Yeah, Charles the Mole. He was the wheel man for Louie the Ice Pick.

  Dorothy Zbornak : Ma, you said Charles de Gaulle.

  Sophia Petrillo : Yeah, right! I slept with Charles de Gaulle. I could've been the first lady of France, but I married your father instead. A man who cleans his toenails with a shrimp fork.