Green Acres (TV Series)

I Didn't Raise My Pig to Be a Soldier (1966)

Eddie Albert: Oliver Wendell Douglas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa Douglas : [the "Written by" credit appears on-screen]  Oliver! Whose names are those? Oliver!

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : Over here by the barn!

  [the "Directed by" credit appears] 

  Lisa Douglas : Oliver! When I came out of the house, there were lots of names in front of me.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : Yeah, there were some in front of me, too.

• Lisa Douglas : I think Ralph was a little sad because they wouldn't take her in the army.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : She's still got the navy and the marines, good night.

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : These gentlemen are from the FBI.

  Hank Kimball : Oh... I'm with the Department of Agriculture. Heh Heh. Guess that sort of makes us, eh, sister-officers, huh? Well not sisters, eh, brothers. Although we're not really related. Or maybe we are? I...

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [interrupting]  Mr. Kimball, I wonder if you could help us?

  Hank Kimball : Certainly. Always ready to help out a brother-sister. Eh, sister-fellow. Eh, can I see your credentials please?

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : Look, is there anybody here in authority?

  Sergeant : You kidding, Mac?

  [points at the rank on his sleeve]