Green Acres (TV Series)

Never Trust a Little Old Lady (1966)

Alvy Moore: Hank Kimball

Quotes 

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : ...The nut on television is predicting rain! The numbskull on the radio is singing a song about the drought! Isn't there anybody around here who can give you accurate weather information?

  Hank Kimball : Of course - if you want fast, accurate, up-to-the-minute weather information, you just pick up the phone and call me, and I'll give you the latest scientific forecast.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : You have a weather station?

  Hank Kimball : No... an almanac.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : You go by - ?

  Hank Kimball : Richard Poor's - founded and written by Franklin Benjamin. I've found the almanac to be almost infallible. Well, not almost - and not infallible - it's usually right some of the time. Now, here's what it says for last night: "Salads are made, salads are tossed, don't plant tomatoes because of the frost."

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : The almanac predicted the frost last night? What does it say about today?... "Today's the day for hunting grouse, so get your tomatoes out of the house."!

  Hank Kimball : Well, I guess you know what to do now.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : Yes, I do - but there's a law against it!

• Mr. Kimball : Tomatoes are the dumbest of all plants. You know their IQ is hardly above what a 6-year old child's is?