M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Alcoholics Unanimous (1974)

Loretta Swit: Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hawkeye : [Hawkeye, Trapper and Margaret are drunk. Hawkeye sings]  I wish there were a radio way up in heaven/So I could say hello to Mother every day.

  Hot Lips : I didn't know you could sing.

  Hawkeye : Was I singing? I thought I was dancing.

  [They all laugh] 

  Frank : What the devil's going on in here?

  Trapper : Frank! Baby!

  Hawkeye : [sings, followed by Trapper and Margaret]  Come on in and take off your skin and rattle around in your bones!

  Frank : Major Houlihan!

  Hot Lips : Whoop!

  Frank : This really cuts me to the quick!

  Hawkeye : That's quite all right. His quick could use some cutting!

  Hawkeye , Hot Lips , Trapper : [laughing] 

  Frank : Let me have that!

  [sniffs flask] 

  Frank : Where did this liquor come from?

  Hot Lips : Shhhhh!

  Hawkeye , Trapper : [almost in unison]  Yeah, don't tell anybody.

  Frank : As your commanding officer, I insist!

  Hawkeye : Ok, ok, ok.

  [Grabs Frank and pull him closer] 

  Hawkeye : You take eleven string beans, one onion, half a radish, and four banamas.

  Trapper : [Grabs Frank's sleeve]  Mix it up, and you... uh... let it soak for... uh... six weeks.

  Hawkeye : Days.

  Trapper : Days.

  Hot Lips : You'd better write this down, Frank.

  Hawkeye : [Grabs Frank back]  Then you look around and you find the tallest tree, and you hang the stuff in an emena bag, and you let it lay there for eighteen weeks...

  Trapper : Days.

  Hawkeye : Days.