The Simpsons (TV Series)

Mother Simpson (1995)

Hank Azaria: Carl, Electrician, Chief Wiggum, Cab Driver

Quotes 

• Chief Wiggum : [reading a tombstone, talks into his "radio"]  Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.

  Joe Friday : That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.

  Chief Wiggum : Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.

  Joe Friday : Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.

  [Chief Wiggum's wallet flips open] 

• Lenny : [Lenny and Carl watch appears to be Homer go over the falls when "Homer" snags a tree branch]  Oh good! He snagged that tree branch!

  Carl : Oh no!

  [the branch breaks] 

  Carl : The branch broke off!

  Lenny : Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!

  Carl : Oh NO! Them rocks broke his arms and LEGS!

  [said rocks break the fake Homer's arms and legs, then beavers swim in] 

  Lenny : Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!

  [the beavers bite into the fake Homer instead] 

  Carl : Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his PANTS!

  Waylon Smithers : Good Lord... he'll be sucked into the turbine!

  [the Fake Homer spins until it is sucked in and cut up] 

• Marge : [because of a prank, the town residents all think Homer has died]  A tombstone?

  Patty Bouvier : It came with the burial plot. But that's not important. The important thing is Homer's dead.

  Selma Bouvier : We've been saving for this since your wedding day.

  Marge : [slamming the door in their faces]  Get out of here, you *ghouls*! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

  [the power goes out] 

  Marge : Huh?

  [sticking her head out the kitchen window] 

  Marge : Uh, excuse me. Sir, I think there's been a mistake.

  Electrician : [up on a utility pole]  Oh, no. No mistake. Your electricity's in the name of Homer J. Simpson, deceased. The juice stays off 'til you get a job or a generator. Oh, and, uh, my deepest sympathies.