The Simpsons (TV Series)

Mother Simpson (1995)

Glenn Close: Mona Simpson

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Homer : Don't forget me.

  Mona Simpson : [preparing to leave]  Remember, Homer, wherever I go, you'll always be a part of me.

  [she turns to the van and hits her forehead] 

  Mona Simpson : D'oh!

  [she leaves, Homer waves goodbye, and stargazes all through the night] 

• Mother Simpson : Remember, whatever happens, you have a mother, and she's truly proud of you.

• Marge : Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past.

  Mother Simpson : Can't reminisce. Sleeping.

  Bart : [she pretends to fall asleep]  Spill it, Muddy Mae, or we're calling the cops!

  Mother Simpson : Please don't.

  Lisa : All right, then we'll call your husband: Grandpa.

  Mother Simpson : No! I'll talk. I'll tell you everything.

• Homer : [Upon meeting his mother]  I thought you were dead!

  Mother Simpson : I thought *you* were dead!

  Gravedigger : [near a coffin]  Oh, dang blast it! Isn't anybody in this dad gummed cemetery DEAD?

  Hans Moleman : [emerging from the coffin that is descending]  I didn't want to cause a fuss, but now that you mention it...

• Mother Simpson : I saw all your awards, Lisa. They're mighty impressive.

  Lisa : Oh, I just keep them out to bug Bart.

  Mother Simpson : Don't be bashful. When I was your age, kids made fun of me because I read at the ninth-grade level.

  Lisa : Me, too!

  Homer : [doing a walking handstand]  Hey, Mom, look at me! Look at what I can do!

  Mother Simpson : I see you, Homer. That's very nice. Although I hardly consider "A Separate Peace" the ninth-grade level.

  Lisa : Yeah, more like preschool.

  Mother Simpson : I hate John Knowles.

  Lisa : Me, too.

  [they share a laugh and sigh] 

  Homer : Mom, you're not looking!

  Mother Simpson : You know, Lisa, I feel like I have an instant rapport with you.

  Lisa : [excited gasp]  You didn't dumb it down. You said "rapport".

• Mother Simpson : [recounting the neutralization of Mr. Burns' germ laboratory]  From that moment on, my life as I knew it was over.

  Kent Brockman : [cut to her watching the news]  Only one member of the Springfield Seven was identified. She's been described as a woman in her early 30s, yellow complexion, and may be extremely helpful. For Channel Six News, I'm Kenny Brockelstein.

  Mother Simpson : [entering Homer's room where he sleeps]  Homer?

  [kissing his forehead, then leaving] 

  Mother Simpson : I'll miss you, Homer.

  Homer : I thought I dreamed that kiss.

  Marge : I'm so sorry I misjudged you, Mom. You had to leave to protect your family.

  Lisa : How did you survive?

  Mother Simpson : Oh, I had help from my friends in the underground. Jerry Rubin gave me a job marking his line of health shakes. I proofread Bobby Seale's cookbook, and I ran credit checks at Tom Hayden's Porsche dealership.

• Mona Simpson : [putting Homer to bed]  Abe, isn't Homer cute?

  Grampa : [indifferently]  Probably. I'm trying to watch the Super Bowl. If people don't support this thing, it might not make it.

• Homer : [listening to his mother's story of why she abandoned him]  There's one thing I don't understand. In all those years, why didn't you ever try to contact me?

  Mother Simpson : But I did. I sent you a care package every week.

  Homer : Oh, come on, Mom. We use that same line on the kids when they're at camp.

  Mother Simpson : But I did. I really did. I'll prove it to you.

  Homer : [cut to them at the post office]  Any undelivered mail for Homer J. Simpson?

  Post Office Clerk : No. Oh, wait. This.

  [putting a mailbag full of packages on the counter] 

  Post Office Clerk : That's what happens when you don't tip your letter carrier at Christmas.