The Sopranos (TV Series)

Guy Walks Into a Psychiatrist's Office (2000)

Vincent Pastore: Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero

Quotes 

• Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : [Repeated line to Tony asking him to promise him if he enters his home alive, his going to come out alive]  do I got your word?

• Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Hey, Sil.

  Silvio Dante : What?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : What? I've been gone a long time. Let me hear it.

  Silvio Dante : [imitates Al Pacino from The Godfather]  Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in

• Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : There was a fuckin rat, so you finger me? You don't think I didn't realize what was going on? When you come to my house three o'clock in the fuckin afternoon telling me your my "friend". That's when I knew I was in trouble Anthony. When out of blue you start telling me your my "friend."

  Tony Soprano : Oh, is that right?You owe me an explanation and you know what I'm talking about

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Remind me to never get sick again huh? Remind me please to never have a serious illness because with you, Silvio, Paulie, and all you pricks weakness likes to spread around

  Tony Soprano : You know what? Fuck you! I don't what to hear about your fuckin back anymore. Who's your fuckin boss? Who gets the explanation? What am I suppose to trust you? You "off the reservation" cocksucker?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : It was a broad Tony, it was complicated. My back was for shit you knew that

  Tony Soprano : I don't want to hear anymore about your back

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : [Referring to the diagnosis of his back]  That's how we met, this Spondylosis. That's why I was popping Percocets like freaking JuJubes. Anyway so my doctor prescribes this clinic in Puerto Rico. I didn't exactly object given the fuckin vibes around here. Go ahead, check

  Tony Soprano : You don't tell your wife your in the hospital?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : That twat brought on most of this

  Tony Soprano : How?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Listen, down there I met this girl, she's twenty-six. An acupuncturist. It was the only thing helping my Sciatic nerve. Anyway, one thing leads to another...

  Tony Soprano : [Interrupts him]  you can't send one word?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : I'm going to trust you? Paulie? Take the word of a degenerate cop over me?

  Tony Soprano : So why'd you come back? What changed?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Nothing changed, that's the problem. I still got two kids in college, one just got married, and needs my help. I've got to start earning again. I've got to get my action back

  Tony Soprano : Oh, just like that?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : I came to you Tony. I'm in your hands

  Tony Soprano : [Opens his arms, implying to give each other a hug]  come here you fat fuck

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : [Feeling insulted after Tony pats his back and rubs his chest to check for a wire, then referring to his testicles]  hey, do you want to pat this down too?

  Tony Soprano : don't you ever bullshit like this again

• Tony Soprano : [Standing in his kitchen while leaning on the island counter]  Coffee?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : No

  Tony Soprano : You look good, tan

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Yeah, right

  Tony Soprano : The "tan ghost"

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : You're a good guy Tony but you abuse that joking shit

  Tony Soprano : What'd got to say to me?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Yeah I'm back. I'm in a fuckin "tan" nightmare. What'd you think I'm stupid? I don't know it when everyone of my friends turns their hearts to stones against me

  Tony Soprano : Take it easy ok? I don't think your stupid

• Tony Soprano : [Yelling]  Tony!

  Tony Soprano : Jesus Christ

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : Can I talk to you?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : [Angrily]  where the fuck you been?

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : [Referring to the entrance of Tony's driveway, implying they should talk somewhere more private]  we're going to talk here?

  Tony Soprano : Come into the house

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : I got your word if I walk in there, I'm walking back out?

  Tony Soprano : I don't see you for all this time, no word: nothing. And this is the way you come back to me?