Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)
The Magnificent Ferengi (1998)
Rene Auberjonois: Constable Odo
Quotes
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[first lines]
Quark : [to a group of Bajoran maintence workers carrying several big crates] Just set them on the bar.
[to Morn]
Quark : Morn, no touching.
[to the crowd of customers; in a loud voice]
Quark : Do you what this is? Three cases of syrup of squill!
Leeta : [eagerly] I love syrup of squill on my groat cakes. But I haven't seen a jar in over a year.
Quark : No one has.
Odo : Does this mean that the drought on Balancar is over?
Quark : [pleased with himself] There never was a drought. It was all a ploy by their Agricultural Consortium. They've been stockpiling squill so they could drive the prices up.
Leeta : [vexed] *That's* dishonest!
Quark : [still pleased with himself; as he props himself on the bar counter] I couldn't agree more. You know... I once did business with the nephew of the cousin of the stepsister of a friend of the secretary to the consortium's chief accountant.
[pause; Quark checks himself]
Quark : [mumbling] Um... nephew, cousin... stepsister... friend... Yup, that's right!
Quark : [back to an audible voice] And he told me, in passing, that the accountant had bought himself a very nice pair of Ferengi rain slippers.
Odo : [dryily] And... if there *was* a drought, he wouldn't need rain slippers.
Quark : My thoughts exactly!
[boastful, with his chest puffed up]
Quark : So... I set up a meeting with this accountant and told him that he either provide me with a shipment of syrup, or I'd expose their deception to the entire quadrant!
[the crowd applauds]
Quark : [holding up a jar of syrup] Tomorrow morning, we're having a special on groat cakes with syrup of squill - that is, for anyone who can afford it!