Married... with Children (TV Series)

Married... with Who (1991)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marcy : It's just that I can hardly believe that I'm now mrs...

  [Stalls, and turns towards Jefferson] 

  Marcy : Darling. What's your last name?

  Jefferson : D'Arcy

  Marcy : [Turn slowly back towards Peggy]  ... Marcy D'Arcy... I'm now MARCY D'ARCY! What have I've done. Maybe I should start wearing little dresses with dots on them

• Jefferson : I saw a woman come over here. Are one of you my wife?

  [notices a distressed Marcy, a pleased Peggy and a bored Kelly] 

  Jefferson : [takes Kelly]  Come on sweetheart, let's go back to bed.

  Kelly : Bye, daddy.

  Peggy : [takes Jefferson's hand]  No, no, no, no. You've made a mistake. I'm your wife! NOW we can go back to bed.

  Marcy : Oh, shut up! It's me, it's me!

• [Marcy wakes up one morning and finds herself married to Jefferson] 

  Al : Now, Jeff, all kidding aside, run. Run hard, run now, run silent, run deep, run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist, but the key word here is "run!"

  Jefferson : Don't you think she's cute, Al?

  Al : *Run.*

• [Marcy identifies herself as Jefferson's wife] 

  Jefferson : By the way, my name is Jefferson.

  Marcy : I'm Marcy.

  Al : Yeah, I'm Al, so now that the Beatles have been reunited, you can get the hell out of here!

• [Al let slip at Jefferson and Marcy's wedding that he was in prison] 

  Jefferson : Listen, Al, I just dropped by to thank you for utterly betraying my trust. It was malicious and foul, but I think it's gonna turn out to be a blessing. I mean, it helps get our marriage off on an honest, healthy, harmonious start.

  Marcy : [off-screen]  JEFFERSON D'ARCY! GET YOUR LYING, INMATE ASS OVER HERE *NOW*!

• Bud Bundy : By the way, Mr. D'Arcy, what were you in for anyway?

  Jefferson : Oh, nothing big. Just a scam to sell plots around a toxic little waste pond called Lake Chicamocomico. The place is so contaminated, it won't be safe for habitation 'til the year 5 million.