My Name Is Earl (TV Series)
Very Bad Things (2006)
Jason Lee: Earl Hickey
Photos
Quotes
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[at the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on]
Earl : [voiceover] When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.
Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.
[Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue]
Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.
Earl : It was an accident, Joy...
[leers at opponent's chest]
Earl : I think they're real.
Joy : [angered] Oh, so you're on *her* side?
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[Joy has stolen a truck from the Bargain Bag store because they wouldn't refund her $3000]
Earl : [horrified] Stole a truck?
Joy : [adamant] Because they wouldn't give me my money back! It was a crime of principal like when Rosa Parks stole that bus!
Earl : They wouldn't even give you a store credit?
Joy : No.
Earl : That doesn't seem fair.
Joy : Thank you! Which is why you have to help me sell the truck.
Earl : Sell the truck... Joy, that's against the law.
Joy : Earl, this is not about the law. It's about right and wrong, and isn't that what your list is about, rights and wrongs? Doing unto others all that Robin Hood/Batman/Jesus stuff?
Earl : Well you got a good point. The store DID do you wrong. I don't know if Jesus or Batman would sell a truck, but Robin Hood might. Okay, I'll do it. But you're not getting a penny more than three thousand dollars.
Joy : Of course not! That would be wrong...
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[Earl and Randy are in bed]
Earl : Randy, do you think it's my fault joy went to jail? Randy?
Randy : I'm tryin' to sleep Earl; can't this wait 'til morning?
Earl : You woke me up last night to ask if monkeys ever worry about their looks.
Randy : Oh yeah, sorry. Do you think they do?
Earl : I already told you; if they worried about their looks they'd wear pants.
Earl : 'Night Randy.
Randy : 'Night Earl.
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[At the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on]
Earl : [voiceover] When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.
Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.
[Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue]
Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.
Earl : It was an accident, Joy...
[leers at opponent's chest]
Earl : I think they're real.
Joy : [angered] Oh, so you're on HER side?
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Randy : I'm making a list of rich people with a million dollars we can borrow, for Joy's bail.
Earl : [Reading Randy's list] The Beverly Hillbilly's.
Randy : They're super rich.
Earl : They're pretend, Randy! Just like Richie Rich and Donald Trump, they're just TV characters.
Randy : Well... the Jeffersons are real, right? 'Cause we saw Mr. Jefferson at the boat show last year. Remember we gave hm a dollar to say "Weezy"?