Green Acres (TV Series)

Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel (1967)

Hank Patterson: Fred Ziffel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred Ziffel : [angry when Arnold the Pig begins to bark]  Did you hear that? Why, that hussy has taught him to bark like a dog.

  Doris Ziffel : Well, it doesn't hurt for somebody to know another language.

• Fred Ziffel : [Lisa and Oliver start arguing in front of the Ziffels]  Mr. Douglas, if we'd wanted to listen to fight, we'd have stayed at home.

• Oliver Douglas : Why don't you go over and see Mr. Haney and ask him to keep his dog away?

  Fred Ziffel : No, no, no, I don't talk to him.

  Doris Ziffel : No, they've been feuding for ten years.

  Oliver Douglas : What about?

  Fred Ziffel : Oh, I forget. But it must have been something pretty terrible, to make me remember it this long.

  Oliver Douglas : Well, that makes about as much sense as anything that's been said here today.

  Fred Ziffel : Mr. Douglas, now we don't want into sarcasm. What we want is advice.