Vampire Biker Babes (2007) User Reviews

Let's start with a stake to the heart...

[fnorful · 1/10 · 30 January 2008]

...and perhaps we may be able to avoid having the (promised) sequels.

Damn, I hate being harsh on a movie, especially a biker movie, but this gored my ox... or would have if my ox hadn't already swallowed its own tongue in an effort not to continue watching this eminently un-watchable movie.

First, it's hardly a "biker" movie, just some home-footage quality (as is the whole film) of motorcycles occasionally thrown in. At least most of the riders looked competent (they didn't drag their feet on the pavement while moving off in first gear), but the competence evaporated once the acting and script kicked in. The basic effects were either lame (reddish kool-aid for the blood: hasn't anyone seen any of the real stuff?) or cartoon-ish monsters, creating an unneeded disconnect and having no shock or artistic value.

The script was a mess and the acting amateur. The sound was good, however.

Skip this (and the sequels) and instead see "From Dusk to Dawn" for a really good vampire/biker tale or "CC and Company" which although it's a stinker, at least it has some memorable scenery-chewing.

The good news, if Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever does a reunion show, this will be the movie!

[d1684 · 10/10 · 6 October 2008]

Probably the worst movie ever made! And for that, it gets 10 stars. How many people can say they made the worse movie ever??? That deserves something. This is certainly one of those cases where the trailer was better than the movie. I'm told the only person that could act was the actor that played Buck, and most of his scenes were cut. Probably wouldn't have helped this movie anyway. When I was watching this movie, I couldn't believe just how bad it is. Someone commented to me "Look, you know it wasn't Hollywood". Right, but I was at least expecting Ed Wood.

Where to start...first the "movie" itself. It was film digitally, and looks like it was shot in video tape. It doesn't have that movie look. Next, the monsters. They don't look like vampires, but some kind of devil creature. They look...and move...like something out of an 1980's video game. Only a couple of people can act in this film...and they don't get much screen time.

Not scary enough to be a vampire movie...not good enough to be a biker movie. The movie does use real bikers, though. A local outlaw motorcycle gang was used in most of the filming. You can practically smell them through the screen.

When Jenkins made this film, he supposedly was "retiring" from a film career in Hollywood of some 30 years. But nowhere can I find anything with Jenkin's name on it.

If you're having a Halloween party, THIS IS THE FILM! The bad acting, the wacky plot, the special effects that look as though a mentally challenged person did them...it all comes together here! You'll laugh your butts off! In fact the film is SOOOO bad, I wonder if Jenkins didn't make it that way on purpose.

To his credit, I will say the director, producer, and writer of this film, Mr. Jenkins, had a lot of pluck to make this film. I hope that he will try his hand at more movies. Someone has to fill Ed's shoes, after all.