The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Jerusalem Duality (2008)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sheldon : So! This is engineering, huh?

  Howard Wolowitz : [on phone]  I'll talk to you later.

  Sheldon : Engineering, where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa Loompas of science!

• Sheldon Cooper : Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to... you know, that other guy.

  Howard Wolowitz : Antonio Salieri?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, God! Now even you're smarter than me.

  Howard Wolowitz : You know, Sheldon, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them.

• Sheldon Cooper : While Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.

• [last lines] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Hey, look at that. It's Dennis Kim.

  Howard Wolowitz : Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.

  Raj Koothrappali : You know, I kind of feel bad about what we did to him.

  [Kim is locked in a kiss with a blond girl] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [sarcastic]  Yeah, we really ruined his life.

  Sheldon Cooper : Screw him. He was weak.

• Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes?

  Howard Wolowitz : Go away!

  Sheldon Cooper : Did Leonard tell you to say that?

  Howard Wolowitz : Nah, I thought of it all by myself.

  Sheldon Cooper : Huh. It can't be a coincidence. There must be some causal link I'm missing.

• Sheldon Cooper : I sense a disturbance in the Force.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [in a Yoda voice]  A bad feeling I have about this, hmm.

• Sheldon Cooper : Alright, and this is my office.

  Dennis Kim : Is this part of the tour?

  Sheldon Cooper : Nope. Goodbye.

• Dennis Kim : [notices award certificate on wall of Sheldon's office]  Wow! You won a Stevenson Award?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes! In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it.

  Dennis Kim : Really! How old?

  Sheldon Cooper : Fourteen and a half.

  Dennis Kim : Hm - you *were* the youngest person ever to win it.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [grinning gleefully]  It's like looking into an obnoxious little mirror, isn't it?

• Penny : I really don't see what the big deal is.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, of course your don't. You've never excelled at anything.

  Penny : I don't understand. Exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?

  Howard Wolowitz : We liked Leonard.

• Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office that says I have a masters in engineering.

  Sheldon Cooper : And you also have a note from your mother that says "I love you, Bubbeleh". But neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes.

• Dr. Eric Gablehauser : Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim. Dennis is a *highly* sought-after doctoral candidate, and we're hoping to have him do his graduate work here.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Graduate work? Very impressive.

  Dr. Eric Gablehauser : And he's only 15 years old.

  Sheldon Cooper : Not bad. I, myself, started graduate school at 14.

  Dennis Kim : Well, I lost a year while my family was tunneling out of North Korea.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to Sheldon]  Advantage: Kim.

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Here's the problem with teleportation.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Lay it on me.

  Sheldon Cooper : Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual; you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.

  Leonard Hofstadter : How about that.

  Sheldon Cooper : Personally, I would never use a transporter, because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?

  Sheldon Cooper : No, he would be exactly the same.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That is a problem.

• Dr. Eric Gablehauser : What are you working on?

  Sheldon Cooper : Something remarkable. Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much, I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look, I'm going to solve the Middle East crisis by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.

  Dr. Eric Gablehauser : To what end?

  Sheldon Cooper : You know, it's like the baseball movie. Build it and they will come.

• Sheldon Cooper : 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old, and he's already correcting my work. Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.

  Howard Wolowitz : Antonio Salieri?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh God, now even you are smarter than me.

  Howard Wolowitz : You know, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.

  Sheldon Cooper : Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don't keep feeding it, they just... take her out and shoot her between the eyes.

  Penny : I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?

• Sheldon Cooper : I really don't understand your objections, Dr. Goldfarb. Why wouldn't the Sonora desert make a perfectly good promised land?

  Professor Goldfarb : Go away.

  Sheldon Cooper : We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.

• Sheldon Cooper : Howard, you're a Jew. If there was another wailing wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem. but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs, would you still be able to wail at it?

• Sheldon : I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested