That Awkward Moment (2014)
Miles Teller: Daniel
Photos
Quotes
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Jason : Dude, are you taking a shit in there?
Daniel : Absolutely not.
Jason : Every time you come over, you take a shit.
Daniel : No, I'm not taking a shit, I'm using a self-tanner!
Jason : Self-tanner?
Daniel : Yeah, I told that assistant in Vogue I couldn't hang out 'cause I was in Tulum. I'm trying to face her off my roster.
[he pauses briefly]
Daniel : Also, I am taking a shit.
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Daniel : Yeah, everybody knows you can't call a girl a hooker. Even hookers hate being called hookers.
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Mikey : Which one of you divas uses self-tanner?
Daniel : I do, why?
[Mikey walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel]
Mikey : Because I beat off with it last night.
Daniel : Why... why didn't you even read the bottle?
Mikey : I was a little drunk.
Mikey : My shit is orange.
[Mikey opens towel]
Jason : Oh!
Mikey : Look at this!
Daniel : Oh my God!
Jason : Oh no!
Daniel : Who knew that could even happen to you? I didn't know you could change colors.
Mikey : Stop.
Jason : Your dick looks like a yam.
Daniel : Your dick looks like a traffic cone.
Mikey : Just stop.
Daniel : Your dick looks like a can of cheddar Pringles.
Mikey : That's fucked up.
Jason : Your dick looks like Spike Lee at a Knicks game.
Daniel : If your dick was jumping over the river, it would be the General Lee.
[Takes a sip out of his mug and spits it out in a fit of laughter]
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Daniel : In high school I was voted "most likely to have the best eyes".
