The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Discovery Dissipation (2013)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Course you're not. People love trained monkeys.

  Penny : How can you not be happy? You're tall, thin and famous. Oh my God. I'm jealous of Sheldon.

• [last lines] 

  Penny : You know if we did a shot every time they said something embarrassing, this would be one hell of a drinking game.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Little early for alcohol, isn't it?

  Sheldon Cooper : [On the radio]  You know, I don't just say smart things about science, I also yodel.

  [Yodeling] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I'll get the vodka.

• Sheldon Cooper : But none of you know what this is like. Being celebrated for something you wish you never did.

  Penny : You clearly haven't been with me at Mardi Gras.

• Sheldon Cooper : What's that animal doing in our apartment?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Get over that. She's in her crate; she can't get out.

  Sheldon Cooper : I have two words for you: Jurassic Park.

• Leonard Hofstadter : I was only trying to make you happy.

  Sheldon Cooper : By taking away my crowning achievement? If you wanted me to be happy, you could have told me a joke, or shown me a cute video of a koala and an otter being unlikely friends.

  Leonard Hofstadter : There is no pleasing you! And koalas and otters don't even live near each other!

  Sheldon Cooper : That's what makes their friendship so unlikely!

• Barry Kripke : Cooper, maybe physics just isn't your thing. Have you ever considered a caweer in wetail? That way you could take things back for a wiving.

  Barry Kripke : That's enough, Barry.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's all right, Leonard. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, "Bawwy"?

  Barry Kripke : Is that a wefewence to my speech impediment? That's pwetty hurtful. I... I can't contwol it.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.

  Barry Kripke : Of course you do, because you're the Wetwactor!

• Sheldon Cooper : Here comes the Embarrassment Express. It stops at Fraudville. Wonder-Blunder-Burg. And Kansas City, because it's a hub.

• Sheldon Cooper : To really understand the story here, we have to start at the very beginning: a small town in East Texas, where a young genius name...

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon!

  Sheldon Cooper : That's right, Sheldon Cooper. He was bitten by his neighbor's dog, leading to his first scientific break through: the Doggy Death Ray. Which sadly he couldn't build because Santa wouldn't bring him enriched uranium.

• Ira Flatow : This could put you on the track to a Nobel Prize, and in chemistry, no less. Very unusual, seeing as you're a physicist.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, it's very unusual. Let's all laugh at the circus freak!

• Sheldon Cooper : President Siebert, I don't get why you're so upset. You're the one who forced me to go on the radio. I was expecting a scientific discussion, not an attack by some Morning Zoo shock jock. Well, if you wanted to raise money for the university, you should consider a swear jar. Wow, that's a dollar right there!