Shake (2013) Poster

(2013)

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1/10
DaFuq I just watch?
laurainmark15 May 2021
This "erotic thriller" cranks the "thrills" up to a 1 and reaches levels of "erotic" that one normally only finds at a church picnic.

The cast lacks any real actors except for Clifton Powell who demonstrates here that he won't turn down any project as long as there is a value meal in it for him.

The acting and production value is about what you could expect from an ad for an adults only phone line.

A group of reasonably attractive men try their hand at being fully clothed strippers who occasionally go so far as lifting their shirt for loose change.

The plot is the only mystery in this thriller. I could not find one anywhere. A weak attempt to introduce action and a story comes 9 minutes before the end as if they suddenly realized that they should at least pretend to have a plot, but it still fails at being coherent.

In short, the title and box cover promises dancing and eroticism that it fails to deliver on any level.

A 2.5 second blurred sex scene and the briefest glimpse of a male rear at the tail end of the movie only serves as an insincere apology for making the viewer sit through 70 minutes of nothing before getting anything that rises above the PG level into the PG13 realm.

Seriously, male "strippers" in full long pants while drunk women toss obvious Monopoly money at them, and even then it's just the one dollar bills tells you all you need to know about the production value.

This movie made me cringe so hard, it gave me a crinjury.
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