The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Collaboration Contamination (2017)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, no problem.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, and Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, that's okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey. Tha... that's an Ewok, and it's mine.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, which is why it's okay.
Sheldon Cooper : See? He gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy Farrah Fowler : You've got Chewbacca. That's enough.
Raj Koothrappali : I used to have the stuffed racoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy", but Cinammon licked it raw.
Howard Wolowitz : There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and... it's never and nowhere.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : You know, I could use an engineer on this project.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, now this works out great. Howard's an engineer. I'm sure he knows someone qualified.
Howard Wolowitz : She was talking about me, Sheldon. I'm perfectly qualified.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Yeah, Howie's the world's best engineer. It says so right on his coffee mug.
Penny Hofstadter : Aw, you got him a mug?
Raj Koothrappali : I did. But it's not a competition.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Yeah, I lost that battle years ago.
Amy Farrah Fowler : So, Howard, are you interested?
Howard Wolowitz : Are you kidding? If I could control robot arms with my brain, I'd be able to do so many things.
Sheldon Cooper : Really? Because you've been controlling human arms with your brain for years and not much has come of it.
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Sheldon Cooper : Remember how disappointed you were when Amy started driving me to work?
Leonard Hofstadter : [sarcastic] Sure. Sometimes people smile a big smile of disappointment.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, well, good news. Amy had to go in early to show Howard around her lab, so you get to drive me.
Penny Hofstadter : [Leonard's face falls] Aw, his smile of disappointment has turned into a frown of joy.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's fine. I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What Siren Am I?".
Leonard Hofstadter : Kill me.
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Leonard Hofstadter : So... Howard and Amy working together. That's interesting, huh?
Sheldon Cooper : Eh. It's all right, I suppose. Usually when Amy complains about her coworkers, I just tune her out, but now I'll be able to join in and pound away.
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Penny Hofstadter : Okay, what is going on?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn't been home.
Penny Hofstadter : Didn't that just start this morning?
Sheldon Cooper : And has she been home?
Penny Hofstadter : You know, that would frustrate me. Does it frustrate you?
Sheldon Cooper : I-it does.
Penny Hofstadter : I get that. You know, it's okay to feel frustrated when things aren't going your way.
Sheldon Cooper : I suppose. Ah, maybe it's not that big a deal.
Penny Hofstadter : No. No, no. Your feelings are valid. Now, why don't you go wash up and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : [Sheldon leaves] What did you do... are you a witch?
Penny Hofstadter : No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's amazing.
Penny Hofstadter : I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard Hofstadter : Take him to the zoo and leave him there.
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Penny Hofstadter : You sound frustrated, and I'm really proud of the way you're able to state your opinion.
Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.
[realizing what she's doing]
Leonard Hofstadter : Wait, no, no! Don't use that book on me.
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, what book?
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny's been using one of Bernadette's parenting books on you.
Penny Hofstadter : What? So has he.
Sheldon Cooper : Wh... what makes you think you can treat me like a child?
Leonard Hofstadter : Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon Cooper : That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes!
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Sheldon Cooper : So how about you and me make some beautiful science together?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early and do it in the morning? I promise, I'll be way more into it.
Sheldon Cooper : You know what? There was a time that you would've been happy to stay up and collaborate all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Fine, but can we make it quick?
Sheldon Cooper : No. If you're just gonna make me do all the work, then go to bed. But don't be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [wearily playing Sheldon's car game] I don't know. French police?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, so close. Belgian ambulance. All, right you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one's a little annoying.
Leonard Hofstadter : Let's take a little... little break. I'm getting a headache.
Sheldon Cooper : Aw. Right in the middle of our fun game.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, weird.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : What's with the blinking?
Sheldon Cooper : It's Morse code. So that we can talk about...
[he gestures at Wolowitz]
Sheldon Cooper : ...without hurting...
[he gestures at Wolowitz again]
Sheldon Cooper : ...'s feelings.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard Wolowitz : I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh. All right.
[he blinks in Morse code]
Howard Wolowitz : I'm a little rusty. Could you say that again?
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Raj Koothrappali : This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn't we think of this earlier?
Sheldon Cooper : Agreed. I don't need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily.
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Sheldon Cooper : I wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I feel.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Really? Interesting. Maybe you could do something he likes.
Sheldon Cooper : Like what?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
Sheldon Cooper : No.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Chores. He likes chores.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Did you just come here to complain?
Sheldon Cooper : You're complaining too. "Sheldon, why are you here?" "Sheldon, applesauce is for the baby!"
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Sheldon Cooper : The only kind of engineer I'm interested in blows a train whistle. Ooh, that gives me an idea for a new road game. What kind of whistle am I?
Leonard Hofstadter : Train.
Sheldon Cooper : Actually, it was going to be a kea kettle, but it was on a train, so I'll give it to you.
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Sheldon Cooper : Where do you get treating me like a child?
Leonard Hofstadter : Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon Cooper : That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes!
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[first lines]
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, no problem.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, and, Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, that's okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey. Tha-That's an Ewok and it's mine.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, which is why it's okay.
Sheldon Cooper : [to Amy] See, he gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy Farrah Fowler : You've got Chewbacca, that's enough.
Raj Koothrappali : I used to have the stuffed raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw.
Howard Wolowitz : There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and... it's "never and nowhere".