Change Your Image
jtdunlop
Reviews
Les vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953)
Pass on this train wreck
I watched a version about 85 minutes long here in Australia where the vast majority of spoken dialog was in English, and the subtitles barely resembled the dialog. Worse, there were the occasional subtitle where nothing was said at all. In the end, only 10% of the dialog was in French, and the majority of that was nonsensical.
I'm assuming the soundtrack was unadulterated, and that the film has a lot of English/American tourists, and that the film is supposed to play like a silent which tells me to tell you: Turn off the subtitles, and be happy to know anything you don't understand you weren't supposed to.
Regardless, this film is an embarrassment. It embarrasses the French. It embarrasses Francophiles. It embarrasses its apologists. It's not funny. Its gags are amateurish, with worse editing than Chaplin or Keaton ever released even in a 2-reeler.
The French laugh at Jerry Lewis for God's sake. And the critic elite don't laugh, they just look amongst each other smugly.
Pass on this wasteland. Rent The General. City Lights. Even some crap by Harold Lloyd.
Chelovek s kino-apparatom (1929)
Let's be honest
This film was utterly pointless garbage. It didn't anticipate Quanitiqatsu or whatever, it anticipated pointless garbage. Anything set to Glass is as equally pointless as anything set to the moron that gratuitously filmed this absolute tripe. This film didn't invent the jump cut, it invented a reason for the jump cut to wish it had never ever been anticipated. Don't be a darling of the critics -- the critics to be honest don't know crap.
If you want to be bored out of your god-fearing mother-humping skulls, rent this tripe, but if you have an iota of standards, rent Gigli or any other Afleck fill and you will be far ahead of this 65 minutes that seems like 600000005 minutes of sheer boredom.
Independence Day (1996)
On what level does this movie not offend?
Some parts can be glossed over. For instance, the parts that look like a sketch based on Henny Youngman bits (a Jew and a gay go into a bar...), are Vader and Solo any less cliché? The parts that strain believable? Metachlorians anyone? Fantasy-based sci-fi, which has the feel of being directed by a German (haven't confirmed this) who pulls his cliché cards the way Capra pulls happy endings out of the tears.
But -- from now on the whole world will celebrate July 4th as Independence Day? It's about bloody time the Americans took the lead while the Earth gets blown to bits? Yay the Americans saved the day? Insulting to the world, and embarrassing to any American with a brain. Needless to say, the flag-waving survivalist Winnebago across the desert crowd wouldn't be embarrassed by this movie.
I often wonder if more Americans have been a broad (transgender) than have been abroad, but regardless I live in a huge multicultural city where you never hear American without bloody in front of it. The world respects you about as much as you deserve it. You don't have to get over yourselves, that's your right, but this movie is a glaring example of why you're on the road to irrelevance.
Summer Lovers (1982)
Probably not for you
Roger Ebert likes to say (paraphrased) that it's not what a movie's about, but rather how it goes about it. Often so, especially in retread after retread that go by every year, but with Summer Lovers it's the reverse, because there's really very little to compare it to. This is a film that struggles with limited (but attractive) talent, flamboyantly uneven direction and bad editing. What's worse, a film has to often use dialog in place of looks and feelings that take place and have meaning in a relationship, but that are lost to the observer, and the dialog here often fails.
But at the same time, Summer Lovers doesn't blink when looking into freedom of the body, and freedom in relationships. Some look at this as fantasy, but indeed there are a lot of people who have made the one-way trip down that rabbit hole and can understand what this film's really about.
I give it an E for Effort. I like it better for having failed in its ambition than having succeeded in a lesser attempt. It's definitely not for the uptight, but if you're sitting around some day in an expansive frame of mind, wondering if you're getting everything out of your life that you ought to, then maybe rent this one and have an enjoyable afternoon thinking about the possibilities.
Blame It on Rio (1984)
Not for American tastes
Brasilians are a beautiful, happy, open people, and Brasil is a truly beautiful country. I believe that Dohen and cast were indeed working under the spell of their exotic location, and that Americans, ignorant and repressed, are incapable of understanding the freeness in this region of the world.
In my 20s when I first found this movie, it was almost hypnotic to me; I watched it probably a dozen times, and no it had nothing to do with the breasts. In time it fell from my memory. Then, in my 30s, I fell in love with and married a beautiful Brasilian. More than a year later I saw the movie title on cable, recorded it, and was shocked upon realizing that this movie was shot in my wife's country of birth. The spirit that is in this movie is the spirit that is in my wife. Those of you who can't see past the skin and the happiness and the openness that is the Brasilian way of life because of your upbringing, please, please, watch something more to your taste; Pilgrim's Progress for instance.
Blame it on Rio is not not a great comedy, but it is greatly redeemed by its location, its spirit and some inspired humor. * * * (out of 4 stars).
My Darling Clementine (1946)
If it's going to be fiction, then skip the historical backdrop
Anyone who has the slightest casual knowledge of the events leading up to and surrounding the showdown is going to be disappointed. I mean, this film can't even disclaim 'based on a true story', it's so far off. All that would have been necessary to make this into a film not so darned distracting was to have it exactly as presented, but not with the names Earp, Holliday and Clanton.
The Pianist (2002)
Belongs in the horror genre
People laugh at horror flicks, and look for the happy ending in dramas. The Pianist is the latest in the modern onslaughts on the senses, ala Blackhawk Down and Saving Private Ryan.
In the context of Schindler's list, Shoah, and The Sorrow and the Pity, this film was left with nothing original to say. Therefore it is Polanskis self-indulgance alone that causes this film to be made. Labor of love notwithstanding, the audience is not enriched in having seen it, but is rather shell-shocked -- AGAIN.
Enough is enough. Stop the narratives on the horrors of war. People DO get it, and no, it's not going to stop the next great atrocity or war, no matter how much you bludgeon people with your ideology. 200,000 Iraqis killed by Hussein, 300,000 more killed by the USA in the two wars. Hundreds of thousands murdered in Yugoslavia breakup. Polanski, how about some art in your next project?
Narc (2002)
Don't support the mob
Movies may make the mafia look glamorous, but the real fact is that they ruin the lives of real people who cross them. Julius Nasso has very strong apparent ties to the job, as revealed in various taps of conversations he's had with the Gotti family. As such, members of the public with any conscience at all are obligated to do what they can to put him out of business by boycotting his films.
The Sandlot (1993)
But is it a good movie?
Hey, I played little league baseball too, and I played catch endlessly with my best friend. But memories of little league notwithstanding, this simply is not a good film. It's obvious, and cliche, and stretches belief beyond the breaking point. If you want to see a reminiscence-type film well done, rent Bronx Tale sometime. Even the television-based Wonder Years was better, on probably 1/10 the budget. Go play catch with your kids and leave this on the shelf, guys.
Beautiful Girls (1996)
Students of the medium may like this one
I saw this film within a week or so of its main release, expecting O'Donnell to be hysterically funny (she was) and expecting typical 'chick-flick' sloppy dialog and direction.
However, the scenes with Portman and Dalton completely enraptured me. The resonance was so utterly complete, the scenes so fantastically put together, I've catalogued this film in a very short list of titles that I study over and over again for their technique. These scenes aren't as powerful as the close of City Lights, but they're in the same league, which says something.
I'm probably not qualified to predict whether others will particularly enjoy this film, but if you're a fan of moviemaking in general and dialog in particular, maybe you should give this one a shot.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Doesn't anybody get it?
I've read close to a hundred comments on this movie, about the bad acting, disappointments due to high expectations, etc. etc. etc. It's clear that 99% of you who have seen the Star Wars series don't get it at all.
First and foremost, the acting in The Phantom Menace is not wooden! Try to remember: most of the characters are politicians. Even Queen Abudala is a politician, even though she's not very good at it. The chief exceptions are Jin and Kenobi, and Skywalker, each of whom turn in credible performances. The two Jedi act the way they do because they've been taught practically from birth to be passive, that the Force governs their destiny. This they show quite effectively. As for Skywalker, his character clearly is that of a little boy, overcompensating for his status as a slave by being boastful.
Second, and equally important, Star Wars is basically a Saturday afternoon serial; no more, no less. If you expect more out of these films, you will be disappointed; don't even bother to watch. But for those of us who can completely suspend disbelief (or perhaps just smirk slightly at the more obvious violations of physics) and watch these classics with the eye of a child, Lucas has framed in excess of eight hours of pure fun, and counting. Bless him for that.
Rudy (1993)
Second best is first loser
This is a movie about the good ol' college try, taking one for the team, and about 74 more cliches about how people with limited talent and resources ought to be given the chance to grab for the brass ring.
Because this was an American film, Rudy must suit up for a game, and in the game he must actually play, and actually playing he must do something spectacular. Sorry folks, that was charity time, and he should have been at the game in the stands with his parents. It's no victory when 70,000 people feel sorry for you and throw you a crumb.
Niagara, Niagara (1997)
Decent character study
The film explores a couple of rejects, one rich with psychological problems, and the other poor with a messed up home, who go on a quest. Kind of the antithesis of 'It Happened One Night', the characters (main and supporting) are all tortured in their unique ways.
The Man in the Moon (1991)
Very nicely done
As a die-hard film buff, I'm much harder to please that most. Man in the Moon is original, and very well acted. Witherspoon (15 at the time, playing a 14yo) in particular was pure enjoyment to watch -- she was convincing and engaging at the same time.
MITM has three main plot turns, one (both sisters fall for the guy) took me by surprise, another was painfully obvious, and the last predictable before it happens -- but getting 33% past me is pretty good.
At 108 minutes, I feel the film is too short. Both sisters could stand more development, particularly since the movie is primarily about their relationship.
This film has kind of the same feel and themes as My Girl, but the acting and story line are much better. The content in my opinion is probably suitable for ages 12 and up, making it a strong candidate for family viewing.
Titanic (1997)
Great movie, despite minor flaws
Everyone's seen this movie, so I'll omit any introduction and head straight to specific comments. I thought the plot twist of hand-cuffing Jack below deck of the sinking ship and managing to free him and still yet managing to make it back up despite the freezing water was way too much. Also, the Gallagher character and his stooge were too predictable in their badness. Nevertheless, Titanic delivers a visual and conceptual whallop that lingers on in the memory and imagination.